Tag Archives: hope

Into Culture: The Bench

Earlier this month I went to see Mike Wozniak’s one-man show, The Bench. It’s pitched as a small-town mystery with the eponymous memorial bench having been vandalised at night. Wozniak presents himself as an affable, overly informed resident who is trying to find the culprit and solve the puzzle.

The first half is essentially Wozniak laying out the structure of the case, presenting various pieces of evidence, most of which is accompanied by a plethora of tangents and added character colour. I spent most of the time desperately trying to remember different characters’ names and potentially relevant details. The complex level of detail given to the world in which this mystery is set is impressive.

What is cleverer, however, is that this is totally fictional. The events and the characters are all made up; including, in part, Wozniak himself. The persona on stage is a fictional mask put on by the creator of the world of the story. If you don’t intentionally remind yourself of this as an audience member, you might forget that, despite the show starting with the proclamation that, “this is a live situation”, it’s a planned show with a predetermined conclusion.

After laying out the basic story and case, Wozniak, lets us in. We are invited to choose which people or elements of the story we want to hear more about. Then, in the second half, we are asked for theories or invited to ask questions. This is where it gets interesting, structurally. Wozniak, the character, is fielding live, unplanned questions and theories about a mystery he hasn’t solved but, at the same time, Wozniak, the creator of the world, knows who did the crime and how. He must answer and respond in a way that hides the answer but, ultimately, wants to reveal it in time for the final curtain.

The show got me thinking about the difference between knowing what is going to happen and determining what happens and, more fundamentally, what it means for an action to be genuinely free if the future is already settled.


I have also finally got round to reading Justin Brierley’s book, The Surprising Rebirth of Belief in God. It’s an account of the rise and decline of the New Atheism movement that reached, in his assessment, its peak in the early noughties. In one of the later chapters, he explores how the materialist account of reality promoted by prominent New Atheists thinkers such as Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens has led, he argues, in part, to the movements decline in popularity.

Materialism, in Brierley’s depiction of it, is the view that our physical reality is all there ultimately is. Our beliefs and experiences are merely products of physical processes, particularly the chemical reactions in our brains. This materialism has, so Brierley argues, a ‘twin’: determinism. This is the idea that, given everything that has already happened and the laws that govern the universe, there’s only one thing that can happen. Imagine a vast machine in which every movement has a cause, and every cause another cause stretching backwards through time. If everything is governed by these fixed physical laws, the future appears to be simply the next stage in a sequence already set in motion. What we experience as choice, therefore, may feel real to us, but, beneath the surface, the machinery is already doing what it was always going to do.

Brierley, drawing particularly on Iain McGilchrist, suggests that this picture is proving unsatisfying. Arguably, he suggests, it undermines the very argument of the New Atheist materialists use to establish the truth of this reality. If our beliefs are simply the inevitable products of prior physical causes, then our capacity to reason our way towards the truth becomes harder to explain. The deterministic picture doesn’t merely tell us that our choices are constrained; it threatens the very possibility that our choices are genuinely choices at all.

So what might be the alternative philosophical options available to us? Some argue that determinism and freedom can coexist. This position, usually called compatibilism, says that I can be free when I act according to my own desires and reasons, even if those desires and reasons themselves have causes. The distinction here, is that freedom doesn’t, necessarily, require freedom from causation. If I choose the chocolate cake because I genuinely want the chocolate cake, then, for a compatibilist, my choice can still be free even if everything that led me to want chocolate was itself caused by what came before. I remain unconvinced, because it seems to me this view preserves the basic picture of a future that is already settled while giving us a different account of what it means to call an action ‘free’.

I take a different view. In my mind, for a choice to be genuinely free, more than one future must actually be possible. This is sometimes called a libertarian account of freedom but I, again with others who work within what is known as Open Theism, see the future containing genuine possibilities because it has not yet been settled, even for God. I believe God knows everything that can be known, but some things cannot yet be known as they are not settled facts because they have not yet happened.

The terminology can become complicated and rather academic fairly quickly. The underlying question, however, should remain relatively simple. Imagine that tomorrow you are invited for coffee with a friend. You might accept or you might decline that offer. If you are genuinely free to decide then both options are real possibilities before you answer. If, however, everything about the universe has already made your response inevitable, then your, so-called, choice means something rather different. It means only that we did not know what you were going to say. 

I have used the following quote from Gregory Boyd before, but it articulates the distinction well,

Genes, parenting, and spiritual forces do condition who we are. But for believers whose spirits have been regenerated by the Holy Spirit these conditioning factors cannot determine who we are unless we choose to allow them to do so.

Gregory Boyd, God of the Possible: a biblical introduction to the open view of God (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2000) p.147

This distinguishes between ‘conditioning’ and ‘determining’. We are all the result of our pasts: we inherit genes, families, cultures, experiences, habits and circumstances. These genuinely shape us, but to say that they influence us is not the same as saying that they decide who we will become. The one final distinction that matters is that an open future does not necessarily mean a random future. If I ask you a question, there are countless things you could say but your response surely will be shaped by who you are, what I have said, our previous relationship and interactions, the language and culture that we share (or not) and the particular context in which our conversation is happening. You are constrained but you’re not programmed in how you might respond.

One reason, I think, we are so often drawn towards a more deterministic account of reality is that it gives us certainty. It gives us a means of predicting the future because the past is not simply what has happened but also seems to enable us to see our destiny. Our genes, upbringing, culture, experiences and circumstances all shape us. An institution’s history and inheritance, as I have written recently, should shape the present and the future. There are situations where some possibilities really are closed to us but there is a difference between saying that something conditions what is possible and saying that it determines what must happen. If what has happened determines what happens next, then history closes down the future.

Previous failures become evidence of what we will always be capable of. Patterns of inequality become apparently inevitable. Institutions reproduce the assumptions of their past because those assumptions are mistaken for the conditions of their future. Even our attempts to change can begin to look like merely another link in a chain whose direction was already fixed. None of this follows automatically from believing in divine providence, and I don’t want to caricature Christians who hold strongly deterministic accounts of God’s sovereignty. The problem is more subtle. A belief that can provide profound comfort at the level of personal faith can become restrictive when it’s used to describe what people, communities or societies are capable of becoming.

It matters, therefore, whether the future is merely unknown to us or genuinely unsettled. If it is only unknown, then everything that will happen already exists in some sense as a settled fact: we simply have not discovered it yet. If, however, some aspects of the future are genuinely open, then the past can shape what happens without determining it. That matters ethically because it leaves room for repentance, forgiveness and conversion to be more than changes in our knowledge of a predetermined story. It also matters socially because people can encounter one another as agents rather than just as products of their histories.

The Bench is not a model of an open future; in fact, it’s almost the opposite. Wozniak knows the destination and the audience’s contribution takes place within a story whose conclusion has already been determined. The show does still make visible something that interests me, though: Wozniak does not have a script for every interaction. He has prepared the world, the characters and the mystery, but he has to respond to what the audience actually says.

A script tells us what happens next, but improvisation starts somewhere else: “this is where we are, this is what we have been given, these are the possibilities available to us, so what do we do now?” Improvisation gives us a concrete picture of responsive action within conditions that are not of our own choosing. The difference I am interested in is not between order and chaos; it is between an outcome being determined in advance and agents participating in what happens next. This raises a question that I think is more important than whether improvisation provides a useful metaphor for Open Theism: if the future is genuinely open, what does agency look like?

It’s tempting to imagine freedom as the absence of constraint. If I am free, perhaps nothing should determine what I do. This, however, just creates another problem: a completely unconstrained action starts to look less like freedom and more like randomness. Improvisation gives us another possibility.

Anyone who has actually improvised knows that openness does not mean being unprepared. The musician needs an instrument and a deep grasp of musical vocabulary. The actor needs to know the conventions within which they are working. Those things do not determine the next note, line or movement. They are what allow the performer to respond when something unexpected happens.

This is why I find the distinction between constraint and determination so useful. A constraint limits what can happen without deciding exactly what will happen. The same may be true of our lives because we inherit a world we did not make. We inherit bodies, histories, institutions, relationships, cultures and wounds. We are shaped by things we did not choose. Sometimes possibilities really are closed to us, but being shaped is not the same as being determined.

If the future is genuinely open, then agency cannot simply mean choosing from a predetermined menu of possibilities. It means participating in what becomes possible through our responses to one another. That is a more relational understanding of agency. My action matters, but so does yours. What I do changes the circumstances in which you respond. What you do changes what becomes possible for me. The future is not simply a series of individual choices made independently of one another; it’s something we participate in making together.

As I have written elsewhere (particularly in my book, Ash Water Oil), the Christian doctrine of the incarnation makes a disruptive claim: God does not remain outside the contingency of creation; he enters into it.

God became flesh. God took on a particular body, in a particular place, at a particular moment in history. Jesus encountered particular people and responded to what was actually happening around him. He was, more importantly for our explorations here, interrupted. The encounter with the Syro-Phoenician woman in Mark 7 is one striking example of a person’s response altering the direction of the conversation and, apparently, the scope of Jesus’ response. He asked questions and responded to what people actually said to him. This is not a picture of God standing safely outside the world pulling the strings while everyone else performs a script.

I have found the language of improvisation helpful for thinking about this. I don’t mean that God is simply an improviser in the same way that a performer on a stage is. The usefulness of the image is that it gives us another way to imagine divine action, somewhere between detached control and passive observation. The biblical story is one of God reaching out and calling people, some respond, some resist. He uses prophets to change the course of history but equally people’s actions change God’s stated plans. Jesus encountered people whose responses mattered to what happens next.

The Christian story does not require us to imagine God as less than sovereign in order to take those encounters seriously. Indeed, the incarnation suggests something more radical: divine sovereignty need not be demonstrated by God’s ability to prevent contingency, but can instead be understood as God’s willingness and capacity to remain faithful within it.

This is where the analogy with The Bench reaches its limit because Wozniak is improvising within a story whose ending is already known. If the future is genuinely open, God is not simply improvising a route towards an ending already known in every detail. Some things really are not yet settled. If that is so, the question is no longer simply, “Does God know what is going to happen?” but, “What kind of agency makes sense in a world in which what happens next is genuinely affected by what we do?”

The question, though, matters beyond theology; it matters practically. If another person is genuinely an agent, then I cannot simply incorporate their contribution into a plan I have already made. Their presence must be capable of changing the possibilities available to both of us. This changes what we mean by participation. The practical question, therefore, is not simply whether we can become better at listening; our highly corporate culture is full of listening exercises, consultation processes, focus groups and public forums. These can go a long way to give people opportunities to speak and experience being heard but can struggle to move that to concrete decisions or change. Genuine encounter requires something more than tolerance, representation or even understanding. The more important question is whether anyone in these processes have enough agency so that what they say can change what happens next.

This is where the language of ‘no man’s land’ becomes useful and by ‘no man’s land’ I don’t mean a neutral space in which everyone suspends their convictions. I have argued that cathedrals could and should be forms of ‘no man’s land’ but I don’t mean they could or should become a blank space in the public square. A cathedral has a Christian identity, a tradition, a history and particular convictions. No man’s land means something more specific. It’s a space in which those particular commitments can meet others without the outcome being settled in advance.

That matters because much of our public life now seems trapped between two inadequate responses to difference. One is control: establish the right framework, define the acceptable answers and manage the disagreement towards a predetermined outcome. The other is stalemate: recognise that people disagree and conclude that nothing substantial can really be done.

Improvisation offers a third possibility: establish conditions without determining outcomes. We should be able to bring our own commitments, knowledge and resources into an encounter while recognising that other people will affect what becomes possible. We can make decisions without knowing all the consequences. We can act without knowing in advance whether the result will be the one we had hoped for. That’s not indecision, just a different understanding of agency and this requires a different understanding of hope.

Christian hope does not need to mean confidence that everything will turn out according to a predetermined plan. If the future is genuinely open, hope cannot be certainty about the outcome. It could, however, be a confidence that faithful action can make a difference even when the outcome is not guaranteed.

This brings us back to The Bench. Wozniak has created a world with its own history, characters, relationships and rules. He has prepared extensively and knows the mystery and where the story will end; but he still has to listen. An audience member could ask a question he didn’t anticipate. Someone could notice a detail he has deliberately placed in the story or a theory could take the conversation in an unexpected direction. Wozniak has to take what is actually offered and work with it.

The audience, therefore, is not completely free. The world of The Bench has been constructed for them and its conclusion is already determined. Yet their contributions are not entirely meaningless either; they affect the route by which the story is told.

This is why I find the show useful, even though it is not actually a model of an open future. The show allows us to see that responsiveness does not require the absence of structure and, also, that preparation doesn’t mean scripting every interaction. This, I’m suggesting, gives us a better way to think about agency in a world that is neither completely determined nor completely random. The improvisational alternative is not to deny the forces that shape us or to imagine that freedom requires a world of complete randomness but, rather, to recognise that being shaped is not the same as being determined.

We inherit a world we did not make. We inherit institutions, histories, relationships, wounds and possibilities. We enter stories that are already underway but we also can participate in what happens next. That is how improvisation gives me language for something else: not a world without structure, without limits, in which anything is possible, but a world in which what we do can genuinely make a difference to what becomes possible next.

The future may be constrained. It may be frightening. It may be shaped by forces we did not choose. But constrained is not the same as closed.

And that, perhaps, is the most interesting thing about The Bench; not that Wozniak had prepared so much but that, even within a prepared world, he still had to ask the question that improvisers always face: what might happen next?

She Is Not Dead…

This is the sermon I preached at my wife’s funeral. Many people have asked to see a copy and so I publish it here in full.

The first reading was Psalm 139:1-18
The gospel reading was a dramatised version of Mark 5:21-43 performed by Sarah’s dad, Ian Birkinshaw from his show The Gospel of Mark


Psalm 139 was an obvious choice for today for two reasons: One. It was Sarah’s favourite Bible passage bar none! Whenever she needed to teach young people about life with God she’d talk them through Psalm 139. She knew it almost off by heart (which with her memory was amazing!) I never thought to ask her, however, why it meant so much to her. The second reason that Psalm 139 was an obvious choice for today is because I always use it when I conduct funerals. It is a great funeral psalm.

When I use it for other people’s funerals I talk about how days like today are times to tell stories. We all know this person, some more intimately than others, but none of us know all the parts to the whole story. As a Christian, I say, I believe there is one person who has been there at every moment not only watching the outside life but also listening in to the inner life too. There is one who has heard every whispered hope or cried lament, each unfounded fear and every guilty pleasure. God has heard it and seen it all. I conclude by saying that the final judgement is not as medieval art would have us see it, as we cower before a detached judge; rather, the final judgement is an intimate meeting with our loving Lord as he quietly whispers into our ear our true story as he saw it. This story will be truer than even the stories we have told ourselves. For this judge knows the truth of us better than we know it ourselves. I believe we will all meet with him when we die and he will tell our stories to us. And so, I say at normal funerals, this psalm encourages us to tell the stories of this person and, as you do so, know that, by doing it, you are participating in an act of God; therefore, listen to how he would tell the story and be faithful to that telling…

But this is not a normal funeral, for me.

All of that is still important to say but today there is something more I’d like to add, and it is an attempt at answering my unasked question as to why Psalm 139 was so important to Sarah. The verse,

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

I always avoid highlighting this verse in normal funerals because there’s too much theological nuance needed to explain it but, despite her constant eye rolling at my love of theology, Sarah would be happy to hear me ‘download my brain’, as she called it, and give some ‘Ned’s notes’, So here they are…

I don’t believe that this verse means that God knows everything we’re going to do before we do it. Sarah and I agreed that God is far more collaborative than that. He has freely chosen, out of love for us, to work with our free will; our choices. So when the psalmist writes that ‘all the days ordained for me’ are written in his book I don’t think they mean it as some detailed diary entry nor can I imagine it is some magic number, like a death counter. 30 years, 12 weeks, 2 days until death! I read this passage as the psalmist reminding themself that our days are finite; they are numbered. God has put a limit on this life. Sarah, more than most of us, acknowledged and accepted that. Sarah said in an interview once,

The unexpected gift of cystic fibrosis is that we tend to live life more intentionally than those who are well, because our eye is always on the clock.

Sarah lived her life in the shadow of Death but we cannot comfort ourselves by saying that that is because she had CF. We all live in the shadow of Death; Sarah just embraced it. In the hundreds (if not thousands) of responses to Sarah’s death there are some repeated phrases or sentiments; one of them is that she was so full of life despite her illness. If you thought that, or felt it, then let me say to you what Sarah said to many in the past,

There’s nothing stopping you from doing the same.

Yes, celebrate the life she effortlessly lived but learn how to live like that too; acknowledge that your days are numbered. Before you think that this means that Sarah erred the other way and was one who believed in, ‘drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.’ You’d be wrong. Sarah was not some bucket list sort of person, she never sought to please herself because she didn’t want to have any regrets. The numbering of Sarah’s days was balanced by a deep understanding and belief in resurrection and the life eternal. This life is limited. Her life is forever.

So what of the story of Jairus’ daughter and the haemorrhaging woman? This too seemed pretty obvious: it was the set reading for the Sunday before Sarah died, it was a story so many people used to cry out for a last minute recovery and restoration of Sarah but far more significantly than all of that; it is the story Ian, Sarah’s dad, associates with his own ‘daughter’. As he performs Mark’s gospel, it is this one story that has caused him to reflect on Sarah. This story tells of a daughter who is sick and of a father who turns to Jesus and pleads for a miracle. In the story the daughter dies before Jesus gets to her. In the end, however, Jesus raises the daughter from death and restores her to her father. Cynics amongst us might say, “But Sarah didn’t get raised. She is still dead.”

The second story, of the women healed of bleeding, should not be seen as a detour or interruption to the main account of Jairus and his beloved child. This story also has something to tell us today about healing. This woman had suffered for 12 years and doctors had tried all they could to heal her. She bows before Jesus and reaches out to touch his robe; she does not speak to him, maybe she can’t bear to phrase the request… maybe she didn’t have the breath to say it but she is still healed.

A month ago I was preaching on healing at Saint Peter’s Church where Sarah and I have served together. I talked about Sarah then and said that the downward trajectory of Sarah’s health over the years often masks and hides the many miracles that God has performed along the way. In the final week of Sarah’s life we were told continually by the wonderful staff on the CF Ward,

…but Sarah always surprises us.

God has always surprised us.

Ian, Adele, Pete and I have had front row seats over the years to countless miracles, as Sarah bounces back; again and again, against the odds. People call it tenacity, strength, resilience; it is all these things but have you ever wondered where it all comes from? In the end, however, as Sarah removed her mask for the last time and chose to finish the fight; I can sense that Jesus turned towards her and was still able to say,

Go in peace and be set free from your suffering.

A healing but not in the way we would have had it.

And so to the daughter; still dead. Jesus tenderly speaks over her,

Little girl, I say to you, get up.

Sarah is not dead but asleep and Sarah was not afraid of death, she believed that when

Jesus returns he will speak over all his children,

Awake, arise. Get up.

And we will all awake together to songs of joy and great dancing. This is the hope that gave Sarah all the qualities you have been witness to for as long as you have known her.
So let me be blunt with you all. After today I do not want to hear people say to me,

I don’t know how Sarah did it.

I’ll tell you how, the one, singular, exclusive, unique, solitary reason: Jesus.

There is no other way that Sarah lived the way she did. Sarah would not give any wiggle room on that and nor will I. If you want to know the answer to that wondering: it is Jesus. Sarah has followed Jesus into death, not once but everyday; a continual surrendering into a death of this life but she bore the fruit of resurrection, day by day being transformed into the likeness of the first-fruits: Jesus.

If you have wished more people would be like Sarah, well; it starts with you. And if you want to live more like Sarah then you’re going to have to follow her in being more like Jesus. The hope, the joy, light, the life, the strength; all of it was Jesus shining through her. You have witnessed the resurrection life. That is what it was! And there is no other way to do it. There is no short cut. The journey is not as effortless as Sarah made it look: she was just well practiced. it is a tricky path to tread and many fear going down it but there is no other way to bear the fruit of resurrection, as Sarah did, than to start.

If you want to start but are afraid then I will pray for you. I will pray a prayer that Ian prayed over Sarah in her final days; a prayer that is adapted from a line of Sarah’s favourite comedian, Harry Hill’s,

That’s it, Jesus… you help.

Reconciliation Is Not Sitting On The Fence

I rarely write a script for my sermons but due to the contentious issues raised during this one I felt I needed to. Many people have asked to see a copy and so I publish it here in full.

The reading for the day was Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43
(It also is inspired by the epistle as well: Romans 8:12-25)


This week has seen several momentous debates take place. It started with the Church of England’s General Synod discussing the issue of allowing women to become bishops and finished with the House of Lord’s debating the controversial ‘Assisted Dying Bill’. It has been a week of heated opinions and difficult conflict. To add to these there’s also been renewed conversation around the Israel/Palestine conflict to manoeuvre. All in all it could have left many of us feeling overwhelmed and confused.

Which side do I stand on?

How do I know what is right and wrong?

Who can I trust?

I wouldn’t blame anyone for just keeping your head down and not engaging because it’s tiring, isn’t it?

PrintWhen I was at school we often staged debates on moral and ethical issues. These debates were put on to help us to develop our persuasive writing technique and for this reason I was always quite good. You see, to succeed in a debate you must defeat your opponent’s argument and not, necessarily, with facts. Most of the time they were won by playing with language. If you can bring into question the use of a word you can subtle destabilise any argument.

The truth is language is complicated and the english language is so steeped in history that it is one of the hardest to fully grasp and therefore easiest to manipulate. The meaning of words have been adapted so many times through the centuries that the original meaning doesn’t usually match its common usage. Debates end up being caught in details over language (or semantics). The game in debates is to attack weakness of understanding of words until you judge the right time to play the ‘simplify’ card. A debater will suddenly grab the confused and tired mood of the crowd and state the thought now running through most listeners heads:

“We can spend all day discussing semantics but at the end of the day this is all about people and all people need is…compassion. Compassion is not allowing suffering, therefore, assisted dying is the right thing to do”

No one will have the energy to argue the definition of compassion and it sounds plausible enough and, let’s be honest, we don’t have time to debate this anymore… To no one’s surprise, therefore, these staged debates always ended in a stalemate.

To be honest many of us don’t care as much about somethings as other people and so debates are often won by the most energetic arguers. To persuade others is more of a marathon of campaigning, slowly wearing opponents out. As victims of these campaigns it’s easy to tire and to give in rather than try and stand and engage.

Take the issue over Israel and Palestine for a moment:

israel-palestine-gaza-390x285Who has the right to the land of Gaza and the West Bank? We could start by going into all the history and legalities over this issue. The use of words such as ownership can then be brought into question. Historical facts could then be muddied by interpretation of events and phrasings and then there’s the insurmountable obstacle of personal stories and the tangled web of historical violence from both sides.

Who started it? What were the real motives behind each attack? Who are the secret players behind the scenes, the hidden investors? We could easily end up just throwing your hands in the air and saying,

“I don’t know.”

It’s in this tired, apathetic position that you are a prime target for lobbyists with an agenda to come alongside you and gently and nicely persuade you to just subtly ‘understand’ their point of view. They say,

“I know, it’s complicated, right. All you need to know is… Israel are seeking complete control of their ‘Promised Land’”

or

“You just need to realise that… there was never a state of Palestine in the first place.”

The work of reconciliation, of bringing people into true understanding and real peace, is hard. In fact, I’d go as far as to say, it is humanly impossible.

In those school room debates the problem was that the point of the exercise was not to discover the truth but to win an argument at any cost. Success was judged not by the right outcome being found but a majority of people agreeing with you at the end. You didn’t have to be right; you just needed to be popular. I was always good at standing up, observing the room, and re-phrasing the emotions; twisting them and manoeuvring them to sound very similar to my motion and, therefore, encourage them to feel like I was speaking for them; I was a born politician. This, I soon realised, was a very useful tool in life. I could get what I wanted!

I discovered, however, that getting what I want isn’t always the best thing. I could manipulate anything except the truth. I didn’t know what was good for me, I still don’t. I don’t always know what is right. I had intelligence but not wisdom. The poverty of wisdom was always my (and I suspect all of our) undoing and I soon realised that building my life on intelligent manipulation of facts was like building a house on sand and it soon began to crumble and harm me. I had made decisions based on what I wanted. I had made my bed and now I slept in it. It was then, I was convicted of my lack of wisdom and found my need for God, the source of real wisdom.

The problem is I still have to wrestle with how much I argue about anything, particularly issues of faith, knowing that I have the ability and the sinful desire to ‘win’ at any cost. I am acutely aware of my own personal need for wisdom over and above intelligence and rhetoric.

Whilst on holiday I was enticed into a debate with a fellow traveller on the coach tour. The issues being debated were wide and various; the existence of God, matters of ethics, political discourse. It was tiring. I landed a few fine tuned points which won ground but ultimately it was a thoroughly unsatisfying encounter. Why? Because in the end both parties, him and me, were unwilling to listen. We didn’t seek wisdom, we sought success.

295_Conflict_4Winning arguments is easy if you can just wear down your opponent and the easiest way to do that is keep moving the goal posts; re-define the terms of the argument until it gets too complicated and they get confused and worn out. You don’t need truth to do this; all you need is stamina and intelligence.

It is easy to look at the world with all the complicated issues brought out by relationships and be overwhelmed and confused. The instinctive position at this point is to succumb to the ‘live and let live’ view or the “there is no ‘right’ answer”. This is problematic when it comes to creating laws, governance and guidance as to how we live together. This approach only ends with lots of people doing what they like trying not to hurt others which ultimately won’t happen as we need to interact with each other; our personal desires will always conflict with someone else’s. The only way we can all be happy and not upset others is by not living together.

So how then do we live together?

Wisdom.

And how do we gain wisdom?

I want to suggest it’s ‘time’ and despite what many in our culture and society believe, we know we have time. God is a god of eternity. He is timeless, far above our concept of it. He holds all things in his everlasting existence. We proclaim that His kingdom will have no end. This means we have time; time to stop, time to listen, time to pray and invite God to work, time to wait for God to emerge and reveal Himself the source of wisdom.

Impatience and urgency are dangerous when making decisions. Yes, there’s a need for pragmatic decisiveness but should only be done in God’s timing.

Here’s where the General Synod has succeeded this week and where the House of Lord’s failed.

Members of the Church of England's Synod join in morning prayersIn November 2012 General Synod’s motion to vote female bishops failed, only just but enough. What was clear back then was that the debate had been established on the principle that there was an ‘us’ vs. ‘them’. The aim was not to discover wisdom but to ‘win’ at any cost. Both parties on the extremes didn’t seem to care how they would win just as long as they did. This week, however, the tone of the debate was not on winning points and persuasion but a genuine, heartfelt desire to seek wisdom and to trust one another. The debate stopped being about party politics but more about seeking genuine peace and wisdom only found in the Spirit of God.

At Friargate Theatre back in May there was an evening entitled ‘The Stones Cry Out’ where two men from the Holy Land came and shared their stories. One was a Palestinian the other Israeli. Both men had lost daughters in the conflict and now they were travelling around together witnessing to the power of their relationship across the great divide.

The Palestinian father suggested the true route to peace is not to be pro-Israel or pro-Palestine but to be pro-peace. In order for real reconciliation and peace one must hold both parties in critical tension. To commit to both in equality and to be pro both and, at the same time, pro neither. This is not sitting on the fence! The problem with sitting on the fence is that the fence still exists. Real reconciliation is destroying the fence and stretching across to both sides.

berlin19-1To dismantle such a fence of division takes time, building trust and relationship something sadly lacking in our politics in this country. My very public critique of the Same Sex Marriage Bill was not based on some personal, moral judgement on homosexuality but on the way a decision was being sought. It was rushed. The lobbyists pressured opponents with the supposed lack of time and bullied people into making a response; to choose a side of the fence. Rather than taking the fences down they were happy to keep them there. People were forced off the fence onto one side or the other and it was all done by the manipulation of language. The same is being done with The Assisted Dying Bill.

When Lord Falconer was asked to give people time to engage and for a thorough exploration and facilitated discussion to take place he said there was no time. We need to make the decision now.

Why? Because he is afraid. He is afraid to wait. He is afraid of the suffering. He is afraid of what he might find when he stops and listens to the secrets of his heart. I sympathise with those who can see no hope in the future and want to take control of the confusion that surrounds them but the correct Christian response is to witness to our trust in the miraculous hope of God to bring peace and comfort. When all you have to look forward to is meaningless abyss then suicide may well feel like the best option; why wait?

We wait because, through the lens of Christ’s gospel we have lots to wait for.

Our gospel reading today calls us to deliberately and intentionally challenge our instinctive desire to act decisively ‘now’ to separate and divide; to judge ‘now’. God has time and so do we. God’s Kingdom will outlive every other lobbying group, political ideology and revolution. We are to look to Him for our wisdom not some human campaigner. This will mean we must exist in the painful complications of difference but it is in this field we call life that we grow. We live in peace when we accept God’s rhythm, God’s timing. Seeking relationships over and above position and power.

Peace is only achievable when we stop and let God work. To wait, often uncomfortably, in hope. This will often feel as if nothing will ever change, how it is is how it always will be but God waits for us to invite Him in and we should wait for Him to work. So let’s pray in God’s eternity for His hope and wait for His peace to rule.