Tag Archives: contemplation

Into Culture: Long Form Virtue

Fool(ish), the long form improv group I am a part of, returned to York Theatre Royal’s Old Paint Shop season last month. We decided to abandon the last vestiges of the safety net of short-form improv: the quick-fire sketches based on games that reflect the pace and fashions of our social media culture. Instead, we committed to the slower discipline of long-form, trusting that an audience who might never have seen it could stay with us through discovery rather than direction.

The second half was a Lugares, a form we have adapted that begins with us ‘painting’ the outline of several spaces in a location: describing in detail the discreet environments that we will then populate with pairs of characters. We then discover, through inhabiting the spaces and responding to how we interact with the context and the other person, ordinary people whose lives overlap in small, surprising ways. Over 40 minutes, those fragments of stories return and interweave. A shared world emerges almost imperceptibly until, in the final scene, everyone gathers in the one location left untouched, and the web reveals itself. There’s no script, no plot to aim for, only attention, listening, and trust that meaning will arise from relationship.

My first scene that night in York began in silence. I sat, flicking through a mimed Yellow Pages; my fellow performer entered, quietly miming the ritual of making tea. For nearly a minute we said nothing but all were aware that that didn’t mean nothing was happening. When I finally spoke, a comment about a plumbing firm’s bad pun based name, the audience laughed because it came from an established place not explained to them but still known. Something human had appeared amongst us without words.

In that minute of silence, I remembered why I love improvisation. It isn’t the cleverness of invention but the trust of discovery: the way characters and relationships come alive before plot, the way truth surfaces when no one forces it. The scene was mimed, yet it spoke volumes.

Later, I found myself wondering why that silence had felt so alive. Why do we spend so much of our lives trying to explain, defend, and declare what we mean, when sometimes meaning only emerges when we stop speaking?


So much of what passes for communication today feels like the opposite of that moment. Everywhere, we are told to “find our voice,” “make our case,” “speak our truth.” We live in a culture that prizes expression above all else. Virtue has become performative. To care rightly, one must post about it. To belong, one must declare allegiance. Even silence must be justified with a statement explaining why one is silent.

It is not that speaking out is wrong. It’s that the moral imagination of the West has become addicted to visibility. We equate articulation with authenticity. The louder and more urgent the performance of virtue, the more ethically alive we feel. But like short-form improv, this constant performance of moral clarity leaves little space for depth or discovery. The characters we play are two-dimensional, designed to land a point rather than reveal a person.

In my previous Into Culture reflection, A Communion Between Trenches, I described the growing pressure on Church leaders and cathedrals to take stances on every issue. There is an expectation that bishops must act as moral activists and cathedrals as platforms for campaigns. The assumption is that if the Church isn’t making a public noise about justice, it isn’t being faithful. Yet this demand to perform moral virtue can easily become another form of cultural conformity: a noisy mimicry of the world’s way of being right.

Our culture’s obsession with moral expression often disguises a fear of interiority. We prefer the quick applause of alignment to the slow work of conversion. The philosopher Byung-Chul Han notes how modern life has abolished mystery: everything must be made visible, explained, confessed. Silence is treated as guilt; opacity, as deceit. This insistence on total expression, Han warns, leads not to truth but to exhaustion. 

And yet, truth often hides itself in silence. The deepest transformation is rarely able to be declared. Think of the stillness before dawn or in a monastery, where prayer takes the form of breathing; or the long pauses at a deathbed, when words fall away and only presence remains; lovers reconciling not through eloquence but through the quiet willingness to stay in the room. In each case, silence is not absence but gestation (note the same etymological root to gesture) where meaning gathers itself before being spoken.

The mimed improv scene at York wasn’t about withholding speech; it was about trusting the silence enough to let meaning arise. The audience wasn’t excluded; they were invited in. They became co-creators in the quiet. There’s something profoundly ethical in that. It’s a shared act of vulnerability: will we stay with this moment long enough for it to become real?

That same question haunts our public life. Can we, as a society, stay with ambiguity long enough for genuine understanding to emerge? Or are we too impatient, too anxious to demonstrate that we are on the right side of history, theology, or politics?

Ethics in our time has become an exercise in performance anxiety. We are constantly auditioning for moral approval. The Church, too, risks confusing proclamation with performance; mistaking the saying of good news for the showing of costly grace.

Improvisation offers another way. It begins with listening. TJ and Dave, the Chicago duo whose work is shaping our group’s ethos, start every show with the words, “Trust us, this is all made up.” But what they model is not chaos; it’s attentiveness. They prove that the richest meaning comes not from premeditated plots or premises but from a deep faith in relationship. Every gesture, every silence, every hesitation becomes an invitation. The ethic is not “How do I express myself?” but “How do I attend to what’s being offered?”

It’s here that I find both inspiration and tension with theologians like Stanley Hauerwas and Samuel Wells, who have long drawn on improvisation as a model for Christian ethics. For them, the Church’s moral life is like an act of improvisation: we inhabit a story whose script is Scripture, learning the habits of virtue by rehearsing within its narrative. This has been a deeply generative image, restoring ethics to the communal, embodied, and narrative. Yet the language of “script” carries a danger. A script, however sacred, can become a closed text tempting us to control rather than trust, using it as a mechanism of checking each move against a fixed storyline. In theatre, such ‘blocking’ kills the scene; in theology, it can stifle the Spirit.

Scripture, by contrast, is not a theatrical prompt. It is not a set of lines waiting to be recited, nor even a set of stage directions. It is embodied story: the living account of God’s continual improvisation with creation. It is a rule in the older sense of regula: a dynamic pattern that guides growth, not a fence that polices boundaries; not to shut down improvisation, but to form us in the habits of divine responsiveness. To live by Scripture, then, is not to recite it but to breathe with it, to let its rhythm tune the body’s movements. We do not protect the story by freezing it; we keep it alive by trusting that God still speaks through its silences.

To treat Scripture as script risks turning the moral life into a performance of correctness. To receive it as rule is to participate in God’s ongoing offer. In theatrical terms, Scripture is not the script that dictates our next line; it is the offer that invites our faithful “yes, and.” It’s the grace to respond.

Walter Burghardt writes that contemplation is “a long, loving look at what is real” (Walter Burghardt, Graying Gracefully (Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Publishing, 1997) p.19-26). It’s a description that could just as easily define good long-form improv. Both demand patience, attention, and the courage not to fill the air too quickly. The contemplative, like the improviser, learns to wait for meaning to arise rather than manufacture it. Hauerwas is right when he writes,

…performance that is truly improvisatory requires the kind of attentiveness, attunement and alertness traditionally associated with contemplative prayer.

Stanley Hauerwas, Performing the Faith (London: SPCK, 2004) p.81

Thomas Merton echoes this rhythm of attentiveness when he says,

When we have really met and known the world in silence, words do not separate us from the world nor from other men, nor from God, nor from ourselves because we no longer trust entirely in language to contain reality.

Thomas Merton, Thoughts In Solitude (Boston: Shambala Publications, Inc., 1993) p.93

Silence, then, is not the absence of language but the condition in which real communication becomes possible.

Our culture, by contrast, performs a kind of short-form improv with truth. Scenes begin with bold declarations: “This is who I am,” “This is what I believe,” “This is what’s wrong with the world”. The problem is, no one stays long enough to see what might unfold if we simply waited, listened, or allowed another to reshape our offer. Each line must land a punch or signal virtue before the next topic begins. The result is what improvisers call talking heads: scenes where characters explain themselves rather than relate to one another. We mistake articulation for authenticity, commentary for connection.

In the monastery (and in good improv) something different happens. Words become secondary to presence. The silence between gestures is not dead space but the field where relationship takes root. Both the monk and the improviser resist the temptation to control the scene. They trust that truth will appear if they attend to what is given rather than impose what they expect.

This contemplative stance is the exact inversion of our cultural instinct. We are trained to perform certainty; the monk learns to dwell in unknowing. We seek applause for instant clarity; the contemplative waits for grace to surface through obscurity. Where society rewards the loudest voice, the monastic tradition honours the quietest attention.

Such silence is profoundly active. It refuses to reduce encounter to statement; it withholds commentary long enough for communion to happen. It resists the violence of words that restlessly attempt to make reality yield its meaning too soon. In both theatre and theology, the urge to explain everything can kill what is alive. The scene dies the moment we decide what it’s “about.”

To be silent before God, as in good improvisation, is to trust that the next moment will come as gift. It is a prophetic refusal to play the world’s favourite game of short-form virtue: a noisy succession of moral one-liners, choosing instead the long-form patience of divine story.

This long-form attention is not reserved for monks or improvisers. It is the moral imagination our culture has forgotten, and one the Church must remember on behalf of the world. If the monastery is where this discipline is learned, then the cathedral is where it must be shown. What the cell cultivates in solitude, the nave can offer in public: a space large enough for silence to be shared.

Perhaps cathedrals could become cathedrals of attention: places that teach the city how to listen. Their very architecture already whispers this vocation. The high nave slows the body; the echo of footsteps demands patience. Light and stone conduct a kind of liturgical silence even when no service is taking place. Yet we too often rush to fill that space with programming, commentary, and noise, as though stillness were failure.

Cathedrals, like many institutions, face pressure from media, dioceses, and even from within, to prove relevance through activism. Every controversy demands a statement; every crisis, a campaign. But prophetic witness may require a different kind of courage: the courage not to perform.

What if cathedrals offered, instead, a public quiet: a civic silence that neither withdraws nor shouts but reveals another rhythm of being human? In a fragmented world, silence might be the most inclusive language we share. It holds the possibility of what I have called inclusive othering: acknowledging difference without domination, presence without possession. Silence says, “you belong, even when I do not understand you.”

This is not retreat but engagement at depth. In the hush of Evensong, strangers sit side by side, their differences suspended in the resonance of unforced harmony. The choir’s pauses are as important as the notes. The silence after the final “Amen” lingers longer than any sermon. That silence, like the minute on stage at York, is charged with meaning.

If cathedrals are to be schools of virtue for the common good, perhaps they must first re-learn the virtue of quietness: the strength to resist immediacy, the grace to wait for sense to emerge. Their witness could be less about declaring truth and more about showing what patient attention looks like.

Improvisation teaches that meaning is never manufactured; it is revealed through trust. The best scenes are those in which each player honours what has been given rather than chasing what they want to say. Likewise, holiness may be less about articulating right doctrine than about receiving reality as gift.

In a culture of performance, this can sound like weakness. But the Incarnation itself begins in silence; the Word spoken into the stillness of Mary’s consent. The resurrection dawns in the wordless awe of an empty tomb. The Church’s story is born from pauses between sentences.

Perhaps ethics, too, begins in those pauses. Moral life is the art of waiting upon meaning, of allowing the world to speak before we answer. It is improvisation in its truest form: neither chaos nor control, but consent.

In Lugares, the show ends when all the scattered characters finally gather in the one location. Stories intersect; fragments cohere. What began in silence ends in a chorus of presence. Yet even then, the best groups know when to stop speaking. The scene resolves not with a punchline but with a breath.

I imagine the Church in that closing tableau: a community gathered, many voices, yet listening. No spotlight, no closing speech, just the stillness of recognition: something human, something holy, has appeared between us without words.

And so we wait.

And breathe.

And trust that meaning is already here …

waiting to be revealed …

in the silence…

Chapter 42: no talk after Compline

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Monks should try to speak as little as possible.

Why silence?

There is an almost constant stream of chatter going through my mind most of the day; there are lists of things to do being calculated, reflections and processing events, creating ideas and writing exercises all being churned away inside my brain as I walk around, sit quietly and even when I pray. It sometimes feels like my brain is producing the Window’s hourglass or Apple’s spinning ball as I process the world around me.

When it comes to prayer, finding a silence in which to encounter and hear from God, is tricky (on some days nearer to impossible!) Before I begin the liturgy I try to quieten the inner chatter using a entering prayer like the Jesus prayer or repeating ‘Maranatha’ slowing my breathing down and settling into a slower rhythm. The chatter begins to slow (if I concentrate) and we begin the liturgy, familiar and comforting; it uses just enough brain power to focus me more and, at times, I fall into the silence.

Of course this doesn’t always happen and the chatter is so overwhelming that I’m lucky if I can even remember the liturgy. It is a common view that we live too frantic lives. I don’t want to add to the reams and reams of paper and the gigabytes of webspace dedicated to showing us all how busy we are and the need to slow down. I’ve said it to myself so often, I’ve heard people tell me, as if it were simple, I’ve preached it from the pulpit and I’ve written it in more than one article; why is it so difficult?

The inner chatter is comforting, I think; it is a form of company in moments of aloneness. We are naturally social animals and we crave companions and so when we are denied that fellowship we fill the emptiness with fictional voices or with our own creative thoughts. Even the dye-hard introverts amongst us fill the silence with dreams and thoughts because, the truth is, the silence is frightening. In the silence we must face our true self without any of correction or pretence; ironically the true self is the last thing we want to see.

If your life is centred on yourself, on your own desires and ambitions, then asserting those desires and ambitions is the way you try to be true to yourself. So self-assertion becomes the only way of self expression. If you simply assert your own desires, you may have the illusion of being true to yourself. But in fact all your efforts to make yourself more real and more yourself have the opposite effect: they create a more and more false self.This self assertion is false because it cuts you off from other people. (Abbot Christopher Jamison, ‘Finding Sanctuary: Monastic Steps for Everyday Life’ (London: Phoenix, 2007) p.85

The discipline set out in the Rule of St. Benedict should never be seen as an end in and of itself for that is a distortion of his intention. Discipline is used in order to steer the monk into a space where they can discover deep truths, hidden from others; it is this space of encounter with God which is the goal. Last week we discussed how cravings for satisfaction can drive us from real discoveries and here it is our inner chatter which is the distraction. Enforcing silence is to create an atmosphere where we are forced to face the silence, to fight through the dread and fear to discover the resurrecting new life beyond the deepest darkness and silence.

Ultimately the only way that I can be myself is to identified with Him in Whom is hidden the reason and fulfilment of my existence. Therefore there is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him I will find myself and if I find my true self I will find Him. (Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation’ (New York: New Directions, 1972) p.35-36)

The call to true silence is a dangerous journey and should not be rushed into. It is a treacherous path which requires, like all journeys, preparation, the right equipment and knowledge of the route. It doesn’t take much reading on contemplative prayer to know that this is a calling reserved for experienced and specific disciples. This doesn’t deny the rest of us an experience or a seeking after a form of silence but we tread that path with caution.
The rise of mindfulness classes, particularly in urban centres, concerns me. The basis of this, as far as my reading and experience shows, is based in focussing on self and creating a form of vacuum in which to exist. The danger with this, in spiritual terms, is that with no direction we can be seized by anything; demons, destructive thought, wayward emotions, call them what you like. In this way it is as Jesus describes it,

When a strong man, fully armed, guards his castle, his property is safe. But when one stronger than he attacks him and overpowers him, he takes away his armour in which he trusted and divides his plunder…
“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting place, but not finding any, it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ When it comes, it finds it swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and live there; and the last state of that person is worse than the first.” (Luke 11:21-26)

To return to Thomas Merton’s words, we all seem so desperate to find our true self but this only exists in the existence of God and so, if we want to gaze on our true self, we must gaze on God. The abyss that we discover if we silence the inner chatter should not remain empty for into the vacuum will flood all manner of thing and in the place where mindfulness takes you you’re defenceless against the slippery darkness that can easily overwhelm. God abhors a vacuum and we must, if we are to engage in this sort of prayer, to invite God to fill it; even if it is with ‘the cloud of unknowing’ (a classic on this subject).

This is where the reading of suitable material aids the community into an atmosphere of silence. It may seem contradictory to say, in one breath, be silent, and in the other listen to readings from ‘the Collations, the Lives of the Father or something else uplifting.’ For those of us who struggle with the silence and are not equipped to defend ourselves in the darkness of our own souls, filling the silence with directional material to guide us the treacherous path to the edge of pure silence to gaze on God is considerably helpful.

Reflection

True silence is hard to achieve for it is a form of death. In the centre of it we all discover the existence of God who grants, by knowing Him, knowing our true self, ‘in Whom is hidden the reason and fulfilment of my existence.’

Sometimes prayer, meditation and contemplation are “death” – a kind of descent into our own nothingness, a recognition of helplessness, frustration, infidelity, confusion, ignorance… Then as we determine to face the hard realities of our inner life, as we recognise once again that we need to pray hard and humbly for faith, he draws us out of darkness into light. (Thomas Merton, ‘Contemplative Prayer’ (London: Darton, Longman and Todd, 2005) p.40)

The path to such discovery is a dangerous journey and should not be entered into lightly or without the right spiritual equipment for the task. There are unfriendly foes to battle with, snares and stumbling blocks which can cause you immense damage and pain.

In the context of parish life this form silence is not to be completely ignored rather we should be practising it in order that we can control our inner chatter like we need to control our inner cravings. Discipline in prayer and contemplation leads us to discovery of who we are in God and is therefore, the path to the new life we proclaim.

Creating guided space to begin the process of entering into the silence is essential for nay Christina community. This should be, in my mind, begun with concentrated reading of ‘uplifting’ material: Scripture or spiritual classics such as the Collations or the Life of the Fathers. Each disciple who commits to exploring the inner life must be accompanied by an experienced traveller and these should be made available to each in the form of small groups leaders.

In this way we can begin to form our life together around prayer and study as we resource ourselves for mission and worship.

God of the silence, I invite you into the poverty and emptiness of my life to fill it with your presence by your Holy spirit. Fill the dust of my existence like you did in the very beginning. May I, my false self, decrease as you, my true identity, increase. I step into the silence fearful for it is your awesome presence I seek to gaze upon; that same presence which Moses desired and you blessed him by walking by Him.

Come, Lord Jesus.

Chapter 16: the Day Office

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The prophet says: “Seven times daily I have sung your praises… I arose at midnight to confess to You.”

Why prayer?

There seems to me to be a distinction in ministry between those who are apostolic and those who are monastic. These two distinctions traditionally make up the balance of the Church’s mission in the world; ‘to go and tell the world’ and ‘to watch and pray’. These two calls on the Church make up the heart of the New Monastic Movement, ‘contemplative action’. The Northumbria Community speak of this as their call to being ‘Alone Together’.

As a Community we’ve always understood the need to balance ‘a prayer that is quiet and contemplative with a faith that is active and contagious’, in expressing our way for living.

St. Benedict, in this chapter, gives reasons for the Divine Offices by quoting Psalm 118 (119),

I arose at midnight to confess to you… Seven times a day have I sung your praises.

Therefore, in Benedictine communities, they pray at eight set times a day: Matins (midnight) and then, Lauds (before sunrise), Prime (6am), Terce (9am), Sext (midday), None (3pm), Vespers (evening/6pm) and Compline (bedtime/9pm). This rigorous pattern of prayer just emphasises again the centrality of the call of such monastic communities to prayer and contemplation. Thomas Merton finishes off his wonderful book ‘Contemplative Prayer’ with these words,

Without contemplation and interior prayer the Church cannot fulfil her mission to transform and save mankind. Without contemplation, she will be reduced to being servant of cynical and worldly powers, no matter how hard her faithful may protest that they are fighting for the Kingdom of God. (Thomas Merton, Contemplative Prayer (London: Darton, Longmann and Todd, 2010) p.144)

I quote Merton here because in this book and his other work ‘Seeds of Contemplation’, dedicated to the practice of contemplation, he continually links it to the mission and practical action of the Church in society. For this spiritual writer, famed for his call to the hermitage, the life of a monastic is intrinsically linked to the missional and apostolic work of the Body of Christ. Without one you cannot have the other.

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Monastic Apostles/Apostolic Monks

Monastic comes from the Greek word, monastikos (from the root: monos – alone). Monastikos means ‘to live alone’ and was used to describe the hermits and Desert Fathers and Mothers of the early Church. These hermits became teachers of this solitary life and gathered around them a community of ‘novices’. This, over time became the basis and foundations of the monastic communities we see across the world. All of them owe their tradition to St. Anthony and the many other Desert Fathers and Mothers (Abbas and Ammas) who went out from society to dedicate their life to communion with God without any distractions of life. The monastic call, therefore, is to the dedication to watch and pray.

The apostolic call, I would suggest, is to take on the Great Commission given by Christ at his ascension,

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. (Matthew 28:19-20a)

Apostolic comes from the Greek word, apostolikos (from the roots: apo – away from and stello – to place, set in order). Apostolikos means ‘to send away’ or ‘to be sent’ and was used to describe those whom Jesus sent to witness to his Kingdom and Resurrection in the Gospels. These Apostles also became teachers and in Acts it is said that the Church,

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. (Acts 2:42)

It is useful, at this point, to draw our attention to a story in Mark’s gospel which illustrates this balance between being alone with God in contemplation and reflection and to be sent out to do his work in mission.

Starting at Mark 6:6b we read,

Then he went about among the villages teaching. He called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; but to wear sandals and not to put on two tunics. He said to them, “Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place. If any place will not welcome you and they refuse to hear you, as you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.” So they went out and proclaimed that all should repent. They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.

They become ‘apostles’, sent out to build and spread the Kingdom. Then, after the death of John the Baptist, we meet the ‘apostles’ again.

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves.

Now they are being called to be alone, solitary, in a deserted place; they become ‘monastics’, alone with Jesus. But the story does not finish there.

Now many saw them going and recognised them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. When it grew late, his disciples came to him and said, “This is a deserted place, and the hour is now very late; send them away so that they may go into the surrounding country and villages and buy something for themselves to eat.” But he answered them, “You give them something to eat.”

The disciples, wanting to be alone with Jesus see the need of the society in which they find themselves and they want to remain faithful to that monastic call so they ask to send the crowd away. Jesus, however, calls them to enter again into ministry and give them food. They don’t achieve that much needed ‘monastic’ time.

After the crowd are feed and Jesus reveals the Kingdom of God amongst them, he dismisses the disciples to a remote place and he himself goes to be alone with God.

The Divine offices in the monastic community are to remind the members to pray throughout the day. It is to call them back to their specific call to prayer and contemplation but, as we shall see later this year the community is not to disregard the call to mission and action. I am aware now that, St. Benedict has structured his Rule like that of a house; he begins with the foundations of character (humility and obedience), then comes the basis of prayer and contemplation, after which we shall explore community and relationships, then we look at the place of work.

Reflection

It seems that there is a need for both the monastic and the apostolic

Like all personal and specific calls from God to a particular ministry, we must be careful to hold them within the context of the wider call of all disciples. It is not right, although many preach this approach, to ‘specialise’ in a ministry to the detriment to the call to the basics of all disciples. For those of us who are more inclined to the prayerful contemplation, we must remind ourselves that to be transformed into the likeness of Christ is to be missional; sent people. For those of us who are more inclined to the evangelistic action, we must remind ourselves that to be transformed into the likeness of Christ is to be prayerful; alone with God.

Although I feel a strong call to the monastic life, I am also aware of the apostolic charge given to me by God. We are all to witness to the resurrection in our lives, to help all people that we meet to encounter the risen Lord. None are exempt from this work! The Kingdom of God is a collaboration between Christ and his bride, the Church, that is all of us who are baptised into his Body. Likewise non of us are exempt from the call to watch and pray with Christ and we return to the Merton quote above which identifies, helpfully, the need for contemplation, reflection, a deep listening prayer to be the basis of all missional activity; without it we will be building our own empires of sand.

Missional God, who calls us to solitary places to watch and pray with you, call us all to the life of contemplative action where, rooted in your grace, and will we may obediently follow you to feed the hungry, heal the sick and to make disciples. Where we have been lax in prayer and contemplation give us strength. Where we have been faithless in our witness to others may you give us courage and in all things may we have faith hope and love to serve you.

Come, Lord Jesus

Chapter 13: lauds – ordinary days

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Neither Lauds nor Vespers is to end without the Lord’s Prayer, said aloud by the superior, in a voice all may hear because of the thorns of scandal always springing – so the brothers, remembering their pledge in the prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” may purge themselves.

Why are we different?

After some continued emphasis on the use of psalms St. Benedict ends this chapter with a particularly clever device to ensure no member of the community forgets how community is truly built; forgiveness.

I’ve been reading this chapter during a week of extremely heightened emotions with various friends and family speaking on the contentious issue of same-sex marriage. Whatever anyone thinks on this matter we can all agree that it taps into a deep part of all our identities; if we are for the change in law then it brings out deeply held emotions for friends and family members and our understanding of happiness, justice and love. The same is true if we are against the change. It is a complicated issue, as the Archbishop helpfully highlighted on Saturday in Bury St Edmunds.

The difficult thing has been to be a part of a community, locally and on social media, where people are free to express their deeply held beliefs, which stem from deep seated conditioning, and create conflict, cutting others of different views. It is impossible not to state one’s view without upsetting or dividing from those that believe something different. We are all, at this point in time, acutely aware of all our difference. Is the solution, however, just to forget or minimise them and attempt to express similarities?

I have quoted John Milbank and Stanley Hauerwas many times in my blog and I return to a thought explored in Hauerwas’ book ‘Performing the Faith: Bonhoeffer and the Practice of Nonviolence’. Here Hauerwas uses Milbank’s reflections on the Christian understanding of God as Trinitarian, difference united.

The fact that Christianity has always understood God as the God “who is also difference, who includes relation, and manifold expression” means that any conception of God as monistic is proscribed. (Stanley Hauerwas, “Performing the Faith: Bonhoeffer and the Practice of Nonviolence” (London: SPCK, 2004) p.87, quoting John Milbank, “The Second Difference: For Trinitarianism without Reserve”, Modern Theology 2/3 (April 1986) p. 213)

Here we look to God who alone holds difference in peace. This activity is bound up in the eternal mystery of the reality of the Trinity and we do God a great disservice to speak of such incomprehensible truth in simplistic terms, as if we can understand and rationally and intellectually copy His Being. The truth is, however much we speak of tolerance and acceptance of difference, we do not live this out.

Difference “enters the existing common cultural space only to compete, displace or expel”; “in the public theatre, differences arise only to fall; each new difference has a limitless ambition to obliterate all others, and therefore to cancel out difference itself.” The best a secular peace can hope for, then, is a “tolerable” regulation or management of conflict by one coercive means or another. (Hauerwas, “Performing the Faith”, p. 88, quoting Milbank, “Theology and Social Theory: Beyond Secular Reason (Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1990) p. 290)

In the current issue of same sex marriage, I have been acutely aware of how we, as a society, have discussed (or not) and have spoken of difference. Despite a large amount said on ‘equality’, ‘respect’, ‘acceptance’, little has been demonstrated by both sides (me included). Equality has become ‘sameness’. Respect has become ‘live and let live’. Acceptance has become ‘permissiveness’. These values which we apparently share cannot be shared for the root and understanding of the terms are different. Let us not ignore that fact. Difference, if it is to be held, must also be acknowledged and held in the light. I said, early on in this process, that if we do not pay close attention to the how of the process then the deeper whats will remain unchanged. Yes we have same sex marriage but what is the cost? The church divided from society, people who are against are now ghettoised until they accept the status quo. If they do not then they are labelled ‘evil’, ‘unloving’, ‘bigots’. They are forced, through fear of being isolated from society, into giving up their views as wrong. The response for those for the change?

They will soon learn how backwards they are.

We will all look back on this and be shocked it took so long.

We have progressed. Have we progressed well, though? In all of this conflict, pain and suffering, division and vitriol, I’ve been meditating on these words from St. Benedict,

Neither Lauds nor Vespers is to end without the Lord’s Prayer, said aloud by the superior, in a voice all may hear because of the thorns of scandal always springing – so the brothers, remembering their pledge in the prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” may purge themselves.

Forgiveness begins with an open generosity to be willing to admit we are mistaken, even on issues of our own identity and sexuality. I understand my friends who are gay because I understand the complexity I have wrestled with in my own sexuality. Even as a heterosexual I am aware of my teenage life being confused with same-sex attraction. There was several boys in my school who I felt attracted to. Being from a liberal home and participating the arts which encouraged freedom of exploration and expression I was comfortable with the feelings I felt. In the end I decided to be heterosexual. I am more than aware of the more difficult and painful experiences of others and I am in no way trying to belittle those experiences all I’m attempting to do is to state my appreciation of difference, conditioning and complexity of how life shapes us through genetics, parenting and social norms.

From this point of acknowledging my unknowing I am able to enter into a knowing. Humility is that portal into which we step towards real community. Alongside humility is obedience; that call to, while waiting for clarity, to practice the art of life. I am wary, and have been for some time, the way in which a society now considers time. There is a fear that patience is seen as weakness and cowardice. There is the call to ‘make a decision’, ‘to act now’ which destroys any sense of the need for wisdom which only comes over time. I feel this pressure and the question it raises of integrity but obedience holds us, mostly in liturgical expressions, to try and move beyond the instinctive response, which we cannot tell whether they are good or bad or whether they will be constructive or destructive.

Being disciplined in obedience is perhaps the key virtue of a good and faithful performer. This is a skill that can be acquired only in communities that foster an ‘ecology of hope,” what Nicholas Lash calls “schools of stillness, of attentiveness; of courtesy, respect and reverence; academies of contemplatively.” (Hauerwas, “Performing the Faith”, p.100, quoting Nicholas Lash, “The Church in the State We’re In”, Modern theology 13/1 (January 1997) p.131)

Hauerwas goes on to say,

…the patience of a good performer requires a doing but also and equally important a suffering, an undergoing, a giving up, a receptivity, a capitulation. This giving up, however, is more a giving over or dispossession of oneself in the performance rather than a concession to fatalism… This ability to let go of oneself, to dispossess oneself in the very execution of the act, is a skill that is not learned quickly or easily and certainly not on one’s own. Indeed, if acquired at all, it is learned in communion and fellowship with others over the course of an entire Christian life. (Hauerwas, “Performing the Faith”, p.100-101)

This painful suffering of ‘ekstasis’ (the giving up of oneself) is to be done in a community where we are encouraged to do so. Many of you, dear readers, will immediately name one group who should learn to do this ‘giving up’ but there is our problem; we expect one group to without the other needing to. Those that are ‘wrong’ must learn to loosen their oppression of the other but which side is wrong? The traditionalists or the liberal progressives? True community is entering, together into the unknowing of human life and truth and giving up of ourselves, patiently bearing with one another in love AND truth.

This can only be practiced within a community which holds to an ‘ecology of hope’. Hope, in our current context, I would propose, has been replaced with Wish-fulfillment. Wish-fulfillment demands a particular action, a certain event to happen or object to be given. Hope, in contrast, is based not on specifics but on a trust to something beyond ourselves. For Christians this Hope is set in God and Jesus Christ. I have wishes that things turn out my way but I hope in God.

How then do we proceed in a society where there is no shared authority? I wish to have an intentional engagement with virtues; a teaching and sharing of ideas in a public setting. This is not going to happen and so I hope in God who holds and creates difference from His singular source of Divine Love which far surpasses our paltry imitations of the emotion. We, in community, must fall on our knees in silence and live and act in patience for wisdom and revelation.

…performance that is truly improvisatory requires the kind of attentiveness, attunement, and alertness traditionally associated with contemplative prayer. (Hauerwas, “Performing the Faith”, p.81)

Reflection

St. Benedict knows the difficulty of living in community and so, even amidst the prosaic outlining of liturgical practice he reminds the members of the need for humility (‘Forgive us our trespasses’) and the painful suffering of obedience to a source outside of ourselves (‘as we forgive those who trespass against us’) In the parish context, we are part of a manageable group of people, linked, via the representatives (priests and bishops), to the global Church and to the neighbourhoods in which we live. In this more manageable community we should be working out how Salvation in Time through patient contemplation and action which stems from it. We must learn how to give one another space to be transformed and set free from our own perceptions of self, identities and sexualities (hetero, homo, bi, whatever).

Generous, Forgiving, Loving God, how far we fall from Your will and Your providence. How little we truly experience of Your Hope and rhythm of Time. Guide me, Your humble servant into Your presence to be shaped into the likeness of Your Son, who gave Himself up that I may know You and Your strength to save.

Come, Lord Jesus.