Is God My Grief?

“Do you feel upheld by God?”
She asked,
“I do not feel enough to know.”
I replied.
This question now reverberates
Inside my inner hollowness.

May it be that God is my grief?

For my grief holds me and not I it.
I cannot express or contain it
But it has got me pegged for sure.
It is a form of comfort
To reimagine this fearful foe
As a friend who will defend me
From the hollowness inside.

Written after meeting my spiritual director and discussing a question from my mum on Thursday 2nd August 2018.