Tag Archives: theatre

London Calling (part V)

Two weeks into my placement and I’ve had very little time for personal reflection but the time I have had has, looking back, a very similar thread: ‘home’. I have tried, as much as possible, since starting this blog, to keep my personal life and personal spiritual journey separate from my ministerial reflections. At times this is very difficult but at this time the two reflections have collided and so I’ll be sharing some personal feelings and how it relates to the theatre community and the call of the Church.

Growing up I was always a ‘nester’. When going on holiday I liked to take all my clothes out of the suitcase and put them in the drawers and cupboards. I’d take out the book I was reading at the time and put it on my bedside table and I’d try and take with me as much of ‘home’ as possible. I didn’t cope well being away from home for long periods of time. Being an introvert I treasured my cave to retreat to, the place where I could be myself and say and think all the things I wanted to.

As I grew up this became less important and I adapted to be more relaxed about home and, as a teenager, it wasn’t cool to be so attached to home. While my brother, sister and friends dreamt of leaving home, I was there forcing myself to want to leave the familiar. In the end I did leave home and set out on my own and it was painful as I tried to make completely new things, familiar and to find a place where I was given permission to be myself. I put on personas that allowed me to be accepted and lived a life that meant I survived in the outside world.

After a period of time I was alone, confused and desperately ‘homesick’. ‘Home’ had become not a stationary place but an ideal a state of mind. It was now a memory of that feeling where I knew who I was what I thought and felt and the knowledge that, in the end, I was safe and… complete? Yes complete. In Hebrew thought there’s the understanding of ‘shalom’ which is not just peace but it’s wholeness, rest in completeness. Home was ‘shalom’.

In my desperation I returned to the house I grew up in, to the town of my youth in search of ‘home’ but it wasn’t ‘home’ anymore, life had moved on and I was left, homeless.

When I discovered God, in Riding Lights Summer Theatre School, I found a home; a place in the immaterial. At the same time I found relationships that were ‘home’, where I could kick off my immaterial shoes and relax in safety.

‘Home’, this ‘shalom’, these relationships where I can take off the masks and pretense and be real and honest are very important to me and, I think, to all human beings. As I spend time, separated from my wife, away from the familiar smells and routines of my house, parted from the community that has begun to sustain me in Durham, I find no rest; I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep.

I walked around Earls Court on Saturday and was reminded of my initial feelings about this part of London; there’s no sense of ‘home’. This community, along with large parts of the capital, is made up of people for whom other places are home, be it another country or another part of this one, or where they have yet to find a ‘home’. The word used to describe the people living in this area was ‘transient’. You look at the buildings and they are not cared for they are sleeping pods for people working or spend long times away. The scripture that came to mind as I looked at the people and the buildings and their relationship with each other was.

‘My soul find rest in God alone.’ (Ps 62:1)

In most of my conversations with vicars, members of communities and friends what they want in a church is ‘home’. This is particularly important for members of the theatre community (see ‘Theatre Church (part VII)‘ post). As the church here in Earls Court steps out in mission, to some extent, this creation of ‘home’ is something that has been sidelined slightly.

I visited ‘grace’ on Saturday night. ‘grace’ is a community in Ealing who are striving to be a real, honest community. Jonny Baker, whose blog can be found in my blogreel, has been a part of the team at ;grace’ for some time and his reflections on it would be worth reading. On Saturday night I stepped into a foreign space with strangers all around me and I was amazed how much of a welcome I felt just being in the space. There was no specific ‘welcome team’, there was no big pointing at the newcomer and asking everyone to make them feel welcome it was an acceptance of a fellow traveler allowing me to be me in the space for the time I am there and them engaging in conversation as much as I wanted to engage.

The whole experience of ‘grace’ reminded me of needing sanctuary, rest, ‘home’. For me this is the central, most important part of a community, acceptance of the individual and allowing them to be real with themselves, with each other and with God. Unwrap your bandages and and show your wounds. It is interesting that it is Jesus’ wounds that make him recognizable to his disciples.

Part of the evening at ‘grace’ was spent traveling around three stations; cave, refectory and road. The idea, admitted by Jonny, was stolen from Ian Adams’ book named after these three principles. In the book it looks at the monastic tradition of needing a cave, a refectory and a road. The cave is a place of sanctuary, where you rest, where you are alone and refreshed. The refectory is a place where you can share stories with others and the road is a place of work, of journeying and of striving towards a goal with others.

I made two commitments on Saturday; one was to commit to working from a place of ‘home, rest, ‘shalom’. I have found being away in London, separated from my wife, without the familiar smells and routines of my house, distanced from the community in Durham which have sustained me, difficult because these are things that make ‘home’. ‘Home’ is being in relationship, in a place, where I am known and loved. I’m exhausted because I have no home here. The second commitment was a commitment to the new community that will be forming in Durham. I committed to creating a ‘home’ with and for them. A place which can be both a cave for some and a refectory for others so all can face the road together. I love the fact that we will be meeting in a place called ‘Sanctuary 21’. I hope and pray that we will remain a place of sanctuary and a ‘home’.

Theatre Church (part VII) (London Calling)

Yesterday was a real milestone on my placement. It was a day which started early with prayers, worship and a walk around the area then straight back to the office to work on preparations for the Art Cafe and my sermon on Sunday. Real break-throughs on both of these and lots to reflect on but the real major event was a meeting with Rob Gillion who I spoke about before (see ‘London Calling (part III)’ post) and the Bishop of Kensington, the bishop overseeing and sponsoring my training. Both conversations led me to reflect on my personal ministry and on ‘theatre church’.

As I met Rob, rushing back from a hospice visit, I was struck by how much respect I had for him despite only having met him once before. I have been impressed by his humility and honesty of weaknesses and ‘failures’ of his past ministry as well as the strengths and ‘successes’. It helps, of course, that our hearts have been set to beat for similar things and there was, as we walked side by side towards a Knightsbridge brasserie, a real sense of a partnership forming, two men passionate about God’s involvement in the theatre and a call to go into those places and be representatives to those communities.

The conversation buzzed with questions, discoveries, sharing ideas and concerns and there were moments of silence where I felt God sitting smiling at the two of us. I felt like we were two actors discovering truth in the script we’re working with and asking important questions, all the time the director sitting quietly observing and posed to step in at the right moment.

The work of InterMission has the same principles, from what I can gather, as the community I want to establish in Durham and I use the word ‘principle’ intentionally. Rob (and I agree) strongly believes that the Kingdom of God will not be built by master plan or blueprints but by organic principles. Throughout our conversation I was thinking how much Rob would love to read ‘Organic Community’ which has led me into a journey of discovery. The principles that InterMission are based upon are hospitality, exploration and rest.

What struck me about InterMission was there was a real sense of creating a home for people. Church should be a place where you are yourself where work stops and where rest begins. This challenged some aspects on ‘Theatre Church’. Do actors need to engage in faith through what they ‘do’ for work? InterMission is looking at how we make a ‘home’ for artists. Thiis really resonates with the cultural situation in the theatre at the moment.

With the funding cuts and the real shift away from traditional ways of ‘doing’ theatre, companies which have a core membership of artists are shrinking and actors are needing to ‘float’ around various companies; for one season they’ll be with one then they’ll move on. This means that they are settling in a pattern of life that requires little commitment because no company ask commitment of them, and they are without a solid home. Friends of mine struggle to settle down roots because the work calls them away to different places all the time.

Rob has struggled with these issues. Church demands commitment. Commitment is needed in order for growth in discipleship to occur but with people who can’t commit due, not only to some personality types, but mainly because their work demands that they don’t commit. Church should also be a home, a resting place, a place where they take off masks and become themselves. Actors find this difficult. Theatre is a holistic vocation; it becomes your social life, work life and, sometimes, your spiritual life. How could ‘Theatre Church’ effectively speak into this? Rob is attempting to create a home where actors can rest but he has struggled.

My challenge is whether doing church in a rehearsal structure is too much like work? Am I creating difficulties by attempting this format? From the experiences of intermission I am aware that this type of work is useful but it needs to be balanced with a real sense of the calling to be ‘home’ and to challenge the actors to embrace themselves and allow themselves to discover who they are.

The final thing that I took away from my chat with Rob is not just encouragement that this work is worthwhile but that this work is difficult. The type of ministry that this is shaping into is not ‘successful’ is not immediately fruitful and is counter-cultural for both the Church and the theatre and so where is the support? Who will ‘get this’? This work is experiential not quantifiable; you see the worth by experiencing it rather than weighing up the pros and cons. This work is a risk and, I believe, a risk worth taking. Sound familiar? Jesus’ call to disciples is not quantifiable but experiential…

London Calling (part IV)


Starting my second week in Earls Court, I was full of expectation and excitement about what’s going on with this community and what I’m learning and discovering about myself and ministry. To start with, I’m being continually challenged and reminded of how big God is and how easily we limit Him to the work we’re involved in but so often this week I’ve been made aware of what God is doing all over London in different people’s lives and sometimes those things have nothing to do with the intentional and active work of the Church. God is already out working in people’s lives; all we have to do is go and get involved and help people to see Jesus as Lord!

Anyway… enough of that.

One of the main activities I’m involved in is an ‘Art Cafe’ which was set up by a passionate vicar in training (V.I.T.) already serving in Earls Court. His original idea behind it was making the church a space where Christians could invite their friends to engage in art and ask questions about faith. This was something I was very interested in but I saw a greater opportunity. This would be a great chance to reach out to artists who may not necessarily be invited or interested in a general event like this. V.I.T. and I have been creating a space where Christian artists (a painter, an urban photographer, an singer/songwriter and the homeless community) can display their work and present it as worship so people can see and, hopefully, find God in it.

The discussion we’ve been having throughout this week has been around who do we aim this event at? Do we need to have a specific audience in mind when it comes to events like this? If we specifically invite artists we need to aim to give them top quality art and discussions on the issues surrounding spirituality and art.

V.I.T.’s original desired audience was anyone who wants to come, interested in art or not. This broad target audience is great and all should be invited because God wants all to know Him and meet Him but does this mean we need to keep the content vague? Does this mean we should not explore deep issues and complex thoughts and ideas in order to not alienate people? If we are to have deep, meaningful and profound conversations with those who are deeply involved in the arts scene then we need to cause them to ask questions and to engage with the topic afresh on a deeper level. It’s like inviting a renowned scientist to come and engage in a conversation about physics and sitting them in a room with a small child and explaining why an apple falls to the ground with picture books. V.I.T. and I deeply want to engage in conversation, open and honest dialogue, with artists to explore the spiritual side of art with them in genuine and truthful way but we don’t want to go too deep that we lose the other side of the audience. Do we put aside the artist focussed event for another time and do it to the best of our ability or do we try and mix the two audiences?

This connects, also, with my experience in this multi-national area. As an English speaking (attempting to be) academic communicating to 25 different nationalities all of whom vary from non Christian visitors to lifelong disciples, I’m finding it difficult to find the right level at which to pitch a sermon/talk on discipleship. How do you engage in a discussion with people on several different levels at once without short changing one group and losing another?

In both these instances it is matter of who is it for? If the Art Cafe was solely aimed at ‘artists’ then the art part of the content can be deep and presume knowledge in this area and we could offer something genuinely challenging and thought provoking for them. The Art Cafe is not aimed solely at ‘artists’ and therefore we cannot speak as in depth about art or faith due to the non Christian visitors. The video prepared for the event (see ‘London Calling (A Little Interruption)’ post) presumes a certain knowledge of art and understanding of the language used but it was commented on that the audience will be various nationalities, stages of faith and involvement in the arts world. This means that something that, hopefully, will inspire conversation amongst some people needs to be diluted to engage more people. Would it then lose some of its impact?

But I want to engage with all people not just artists and I want to inspire conversation in all people. The vicar, quite rightly, suggests,

I think in an evangelistic setting it is entirely appropriate to preach as if no-one there knows anything (Nicky Gumbel’s old maxim – never underestimate intelligence, or overestimate knowledge) and you are explaining faith to a total non-Christian (albeit a seeker). Even if there are only two non-Christians there out of an audience of 100. Cos the aim is outreach.

The same is true of the art content for artists. It is right in this context to not overestimate knowledge of the art world or underestimate the intelligence of the public.

So it comes down to a question; should we presume no knowledge of the art world? If we do are we shying away from a great opportunity to discuss faith with artists in a challenging way?

Through these questions we’ve arrived at some final decisions for this event; The video will be there for those who want to engage on a deep level along with some of my introductory thoughts. The introductory thoughts will try and presume intelligence but not knowledge of arts. The theatre piece, which I will perform, has been tested in front of a ‘non arty’ and ‘arty’ crowd and both have loved it. The artist and the musician, along with the brief talk by the vicar will be accessible to all and hopefully will further feed those who want to discuss further the topics raised.

The event is going to be great and there’s going to be plenty of opportunity to ask questions and there’ll be a group of people ready to engage with the any issue on any level. The Art Cafe will be open from 3pm to 9pm on Thursday 16th and Friday 17th September in St Luke’s Church, Redcliffe Gardens, and there will be a short presentation by an artist, musician and me discussing the relationship between art, faith and our work. The presentation will start at 7pm. Come along on the day for coffee, tea and/or cake, or the evening for the presentation and live music. If you are aware of anyone who’s interested in art and faith/spirituality why not invite them too!

London Calling (part II)

I’m sat in the basement flat of my dear friend Jay. He is currently working as Worship Pastor of St Luke’s, Redcliffe Gardens. He’s working on some new worship songs, singing praise and getting lost in melodies. He is carefully constructing phrasings and chord progressions to communicate, to the best of his ability, his love and praise of God.

I met him two years ago when we both worked for St Stephen’s, East Twickenham, he as the Worship Intern and me as a Pastoral Assistant. Our friendship was one that was both a blessing to me and a source of real inspiration. Jay’s major strength, amongst many, is his unflinching love of God and, despite struggles and frustrations he feels, when he approaches the throne room of God he is freed, releasing his infectious, childlike excitement for his God.

As I watch and listen to him constructing songs of praise I got to thinking about the creative process and how we remain in the tension between spontaneity and polished performance. How do you capture the moment of inspiration, work it through to a concrete idea and not lose the power of the original emotion?

Peter Brook comments,

Here, the French word for performance – représentation – contains an answer. A representation is the occasion when something is re-presented, when something from the past is shown again… It takes yesterday’s action and makes it live again in every one of its aspects – including its immediacy…the more we study this the more we see that for a repetition to evolve into a representation, something further is called for. The making present will not happen by itself, help is needed…We wonder what this necessary ingredient could be, and we look at a rehearsal, watching the actors toiling away at their painful repetitions. We realize that in a vacuum their work would be meaningless. Here we find a clue. It leads us naturally to the idea of an audience; we see that without an audience there is no goal, no sense. What is an audience? In the French language amongst the different terms for those who watch, for public, for spectator, one word stands out, is different in quality from the rest. Assistance – I watch a play: j’assiste à une pièce… An actor prepares, he enters into a process that can turn lifeless at any point. He sets out to capture something, to make it incarnate…When the actor goes in front of an audience, he finds…an audience that by chance brings an active interest and life to its watching role – the audience assists… Then the word representation no longer separates actor and audience, show and public: it envelops them: what is present for one is present for the other.

For the person who leads worship there is a need for the corporate worship to assist them, it can’t be just them trying to repeat a song. The problem with this, however, is that the personal relationship with God remains (or should remain) constant and so the re-presenting of worship is not as clinical as the performance put forward by Brook. For the actor, also, there needs to be a personal response to the action, an internal memory of the original emotion. The issue, I think, is when you no longer feel the same way; in Christian worship terms, when you’re not in a ‘praisey’ mood but rather struggling through the mire.

Here is the point at which corporate worship helps. Jay admits

Seeing one other person responding to God reminds me that God is bigger than I know.

The importance of corporate worship is to witness God moving in other peoples lives. This reminder drives us to respond afresh to Him and re-present our worship. For the worship leader, in particular, an initial inspiration for a worship song may be long forgotten as (s)he repeats it in order to perfect it but when they see God moving through other people in worship then this will assist them to engage with the original emotion, reminding them of who it is they worship.

This quote also helps us to understand how we engage in worship. It is easy to blame the worship leader, the preacher or whoever on our lack of engagement and, at times these have some validity, but we come to encourage each other, to remind each other of God and thus it is our responsibility to ‘assist’ the saints in worship.

A word from Steven Croft (whose book, Jesus’ People, I still recommend)

Intercession and individual prayer are important but…Again Luke is referring to something the Church does together: the evolving rhythm of worship and common prayer, which has always been at the heart of the Christian community… You might think it would be normal for any Christian team or group or church to give careful and regular thought to the way in which it prays together. In reality it is surprisingly rare…

St Luke’s needs to hold onto their passion to pray and worship together, that it is the heart beat of all they do. For, as Steven Croft continues,

The road for renewal for many congregations does not lie in doing more but in reconnecting again with Jesus, the source of the Church’s life: through retreat, word and sacrament, and the fellowship and the prayers.

Theatre Church (part VI b)

Welcome back!

Sorry for the lateness of the last post but I am a night owl and do a lot of my thinking when everyone is going to bed! I’ve tried to make this one slightly earlier.

Where were we?… Oh yes…

Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
(Mt 5:7)

You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full’, you find yourselves cared for. (The Message)

Blessed are those who know forgiveness and extend it to others. We don’t just need to know the need for God but we must be reminded of what it is He gives us; mercy. I’m trying to shake a very bad rendition of ‘Mercy’ by Duffy out of my head shown on X Factor this week, despite its awfulness it had a message behind it; “Release me… Release you… we all need release.” Forgiveness is something liberates people again and again.

Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘You’re sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Stand up and take your mat and walk’?
(Mk 2:9)

Well actually this needs a little more thought. Forgiveness, at times, is much harder than even miracles! It is, however, at the very centre of our faith; our sins are forgiven. Forgiveness is not about forgetting but it is about loving and being hospitable to those who hate you or you have hated.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
(Mt 5:43)

Welcome, hospitality and friendship this is what being Christ-like is, particularly to those who experience so little of forgiveness and mercy. It’s a real blessing to be growing a community from scratch because there are no cliques, no traditions, no ‘norms’ and so the doors are flung open to all and any to come and shape the community. This is something that we will need to revisit after a year to see how we welcome others.

We give you thanks and praise, that when we were still far off you met us in your Son and brought us home. May we extend the welcome of Your home to others. Remind us, continually, that the final judgement is Yours and Yours alone and that You see everyone as they will be and not as they are.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. (Mt 5:8)

You’re blessed when you get your inside world – your mind and heart – put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. (The Message)

Blessed are those who single mindedly strive after holiness. How do we balance our distinct holiness whilst, at the same time, being merciful and forgiving? Too often we become Pharisaical in our approach to this beatitude but we must be shaped, evenly, by all eight not just one! The only way to live by the, seemingly, impossible standards set in ‘The Sermon on The Mount’ (Mt 5-7) is by living in the holiness of the ‘Holy’ Spirit who transforms us from within. Living in purity is  not self-achieved but rather fruits from being rooted in God. When you dwell in the Spirit then you will see God, moving and working in our lives. There’s a quick point here about the Eucharist which is important; To attain purity we must return to the sacrifice of Christ to be led into the presence of God with mercy and humility. As a community striving for purity of heart we must be cleansed, again and again, and so there needs to be a sacramental aspect if we are to be Christian. Here’s where the Christian aspect of the community comes undone for there must be intent in the sacraments and so, like the previous beatitude we must revisit this. We can, however, be people who encourage purity and holiness. In our reflections on ourselves we must see the areas which lead us into pain and ‘darkness’ and allow God to prompt us onto another path.

Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts that we would look directly at Your face and be transformed. We are not worthy to be close to You but we are washed clean because of Your Son. Help us to be prompted and directed by Your loving hands into paths of righteousness and holiness.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. (Mt 5:9)

You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family. (The Message)

Blessed are those who face conflict without fear and steer through difficulty. Conflict is difficult! Let’s admit it and it arises in every walk of life and it will even breach the walls of Christian communities.Let us prepare to discern the difficult situations and model reconciliation. As we near the end of The Beatitudes I begin to see repetitions occurring but, as I said, it is all eight working together that shapes us into Jesus’ disciples. As a new community forms a leader must prepare the people for conflict and difficulties and model peacefully facing conflict themselves. Here we return to handing power over while, at the same time, discerning the time to stand firm and strive for holiness.

Prince of Peace, we long to be Your children. Remind us of the peace that passes all understanding particularly at times of difficulty, stress and conflict that we may steer through it with right thinking, pure heart and love for those we face.”

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 5:10)

You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom. (The Message)

Blessed are those who are a challenge to others and who are challenged in their walk with Christ. A strong link with the previous beatitude and the final one of eight leads to an inevitable conclusion; persecution. Immediately, I think of physical violence and underground meetings; thankfully this is not the case but there is the difficulty of living differently. If we have shaped our communities around the example of Jesus then this final beatitude is not only inevitable but modelled in the Passion He endured.

Prepare us for our crosses. Lead us the difficult road to Calvary. Be with us in our suffering for walking with You and show us Your glorious kingdom. For this hope sustains us always.”

I’m at the stage of starting a community and already I’m considering those leaving but I continually find myself stuck between two thought processes; one, in the present where no one has heard of let alone shown interest in this community and the second the future, what will this lead to? Where is it headed? This is a confusing place to be in but here I stand waiting for them both to meet…

If you’re the praying sort then please do pray for October, for the people who will join, for a genuine interest in the community and that I will have wisdom as to how to communicate the vision.

Thank you.

Theatre Church (part VI a)

Just started reading ‘Jesus’ People: What The Church Should Do Next’ by Bishop Steven Croft. It was recommended to me, earlier in the year by my tutor Michael Volland and (less importantly) by Amazon! Croft believes The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-11) should be the manifesto of the Church and he’s not alone in this thinking. This week I have also come across ‘Internet Monk’ who states the same idea and only a couple of days ago Ian Mobsby claims The Beatitudes have been speaking to him profoundly.

How can The Beatitudes shape the potential community I’m hoping to gather this year?

Let’s take each one individually and begin to construct a vague manifesto for the community.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 5:3)

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (The Message)

Blessed are those who know their need for God. Do we know our need for God? A Christian community must know, at its very core, that it can do nothing without God. As a Christian leader I must, as Graham Cray reminded me at Spring Harvest (see Wrestling With Truth (part IV) post), to model good discipleship and this is the first marks of discipleship. I need to be reminded again and again that nothing will come of this placement if Jesus is not at the centre; each session, conversation, planning time needs to follow a statement of need for God.

Take what I offer, paltry as it is and make it last. Take these loaves and fishes that would just stretch to a snack and make it a feast for thousands. I want to join in your creative action for You are making a Kingdom that will last.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
(Mt 5:4)

You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. (The Message)

Blessed are those who know that this world groans with suffering. How often do we, as Christians, accept suffering? I’ve said before the passage in Scripture which depicts what the Church should be is Jacob wrestling with God. The nation of God is named ‘Israel’ (the one who wrestled with God) and this means asking difficult questions, engaging in struggles, pushing deeper into the pain. One of the driving forces behind this placement is to give space for people to ask questions, of themselves, of others and (maybe) of God. This means we will undoubtedly encounter suffering, mourning, struggles and as a community we must engage. The theatre is a great art form for expressing pain and sorrow, to enable people to feel the emotion of others.

May we empathise with all those who mourn that we become those who mourn. Let us tell, openly and honestly, the stories of struggles and human experience and not shy away for fear of the unknown. May we wrestle continually with You knowing that the more we grasp at you the closer we are.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Mt 5:5)

You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are – no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. (The Message)

Blessed are those who give away power and influence rather than hoard it. This is my own personal struggle… Humility is something that I’m constantly praying for! How I love power, influence, fame and glory! I need to continue to remind myself that to be a follow of Jesus I must, like Him, give power away; to know who I am and for that to be enough rather than showing everyone. This community, therefore, must have no hierarchy. I must, as the director, walk and act in the nature of the Divine Director (see Divine Director (part I and II) posts) allowing the power to be shared amongst the community.

Teach me, each day, to be content with who am – no more, no less. Give me opportunities to give away power and influence and to serve others rather than myself. May we continually work towards collaboration and the spirit of The Chorus for it is in this relationship that we experience the Trinity most.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. (Mt 5:6)

You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat. (The Message)

Blessed are those who are discomforted with the way things are and who strive to put things right. Hunger and thirst are extreme words for the way we should feel about the lack of justice in the world and society. Do we feel this uncomfortable about it? Becoming a disciple of Christ is not about receiving the gift of eternal life and then waiting for heaven to come; it’s about signing up to work to see the Kingdom realised. N.T. Wright in his book ‘Surprised by Hope’ puts forward the idea that we are to be actively involved in the establishing of God’s Kingdom on earth. It’s not a new idea either. As disciples of Christ we must seek God’s Kingdom, realise it, work to see it to completion. The work of a community, therefore, is to encourage each other in this work and to pray for others before our own, personal salvation.

We pray for Your Kingdom. We seek it above all things for when we are focussed on this work all other things will be given unto us. We want to be Your co-workers to help our Father build His world for as we work with you we come closer to You.

Join me tomorrow for the final four Beatitudes. Why not have a listen to Avro Pärt’ ‘De Profundis:The Beatitudes‘ and read Matthew 5:1-6 and ask yourself; which of these are my strength and which are my weaknesses?

Enjoy…

Sacramental Theatre (part IV)

I have recently discovered the back catalogue of the ‘Moot’ community blog!

What is Moot?

I have known about Moot and Ian Mobsby for some time now and have been tentatively reading round this community. Their website (www.moot.uk.net) is packed full of information about them, their philosophy and their approach to ministry. A summary of what they are;

‘Moot is a London-based community of spiritual travellers who seek to live in a way that is honest to God and honest to now.’

I’d encourage you to read through and discover what this ‘alt worship community’ are doing. I’m hopefully meeting up with Ian Mobsby, the minister in charge of Moot, in September so will be able to comment more on the community as whole then.

I have subscribed to their blog, written by Mobsby, and have been reading through some of their back catalogue. I passed on one of the essays on Twitter (A Theology for the Emerging Church) which outlines the type of church I would like to attempt in next years placement. Again, I can’t begin to add to or make significant comment on this essay; all I will say is I agree and would like to discover more! The theology helps me to understand and find peace in the tension I feel between my desire for both the incarnational theology of my former Catholic faith and the redemptive theology of my current evangelical faith. I find that I want there to be both and to hear this being fleshed out in such a way is encouraging.

Moving on…

The discovery which has excited me the most so far is a talk Mobsby made at ‘The Alternative Worship Conference‘ in Southwark Cathedral on 30th September 2006. Mobsby focuses his discussion on the alternative worship style of the club and dance genre which I have no experience or passion for. He does, however, give some general descriptions of what the alternative worship communities are doing. If you don’t read the whole article then I encourage you to go to the end of page 5 where he begins to answer the question “why is alternative worship important for the church to understand?”

‘[a] massive factor of why alt worship is important is to understand the hugely reinvigored interest in spirituality. Many people are spiritually searching, and seeking spiritual experience by trying lots of things out –although generally not traditional parish churches… Alt worship and emerging church communities, through relationship and worship seek to assist such people to shift from being spiritual tourists to being spiritual pilgrims through encountering God through people and worship.’

If I were to see my placement this year as an emerging church community then how would it ‘through… worship seek to assist such people to shift from being spiritual tourists to being spiritual pilgrims through encountering God through people and worship.’? I can see how ‘such people’ could encounter God through relationship with people but how do they do so in worship? What would worship look like?

‘So many alt worship groups put on worship events – where worship and mission blur to assist people in their experiential journey to God. So alternative worship seeks to provide opportunities for people to explore existential questions such as why am I hear, what does life mean, where is God and so on.’

Worship, for Mobsby, is an exploration of existential questions, it is experiential. What does this look like in a community of theatre practitioners? How would they encounter God through experience? Mobsby goes on,

‘stories or narratives are vital for people to engage in narrative forms of truth, and meaning. Story and story telling has a key place in our postmodern culture. So for example, people will use things like Godly Play in an alt worship way, or use bible stories to convey meaning. For example the story of the Prodigal son in its narrative form conveys more meaning to a postmodern culture than telling people the 10 commandments about what you should or should not do. The narrative is far more powerful than the propositional. And this is used in alt worship.’

Worship, therefore, is a chance to experience a story, to reflect on an experience lived out.  To ‘perform’ or to tell the story of the last supper and allow the community to participate in the story opens up a way of being sacramental (see Sacramental Theatre (part I) post) and move this community closer to, potentially, being church. Mobsby opens up some more ideas when he discusses how alt worship communities do sacraments,

‘Sacramentalism is about the gift of grace God gives of being made present through the sacraments – usually communion or eucharist, or baptism etc etc. Alt worship takes this further. It draws inspiration from scripture about when it says where two or three are gathered I am there also, to see that God is made present sacramentally in many different ways and not just through priests but through the activities of Christians interacting with each other, other people, and the world. For example having a profound conversation with a few people in a pub when someone gains some form of eureka spiritual insight…In these holistic sacramental moments God makes God present in very secular places and makes them sacred moments or fragments…For me this is the essence of the power of alt worship. That challenges the church not to think it controls God or how God chooses to interact in and with the world in prescribed ways. God is not controlled through our rules, and alt worship playfully seeks to follow a God that is always slightly ahead of us and out of reach. It is a corrective to putting God in a box or believing that God can only work out of a book of authorised worship expression.’

I still struggle not to see some of the emerging church stuff as being manipulative. ‘Manipulative’ may be a strong word for it but Mobsby himself uses the word ‘subversive’ when talking about the approach to mission. I know of many times when I have been surprised to encounter God where I wasn’t expecting him but does this mean that we can get people into a room and surprise them if they don’t want to encounter God? What is evangelism if not allowing people to encounter God? How blatant must the intention be? As a missional alt worship community we can’t be secretive about our intention nor do we want to scare people away before they have the chance.

I have imagined, up to this point, that the relationship comes first in this placement. I want to work with some creative people and have some interesting chats and do ‘presence’ more than ‘proclamation’ but there is a nagging voice in my head that says this isn’t ‘proper’ until they have experienced God. I guess I need to learn to balance the passion for redemptive theology with my instinctive incarnational theology.

Mobsby’s views allow a theatre church to ‘be church’ and recognised within the Church of England but do I want the community this year to manipulate it’s participants? By no means! How, therefore, do I advertise? How Christian do I want this to be? I definitely don’t want it to be ‘Christian’ but I want all the potential members to know that they are coming as a form of spiritual seeking. Is this what the DST want? Are these people spiritual seekers? Thee only way I’ll find out is by trying it out.

Divine Director (part II)

I quoted Joseph Myers yesterday and asked whether we can begin to see God as an organic organiser rather than a master planner, but what’s the problem with seeing God as a master planner anyway? Nothing, directly, but it gets confusing, theologically, when you’re faced with instances in Scripture, such as Abraham at Sodom and Gomorrah, where God seems to change his mind and also when faced with the issue of prayer. If God’s will is going to happen why bother praying? Well, if God is a master planner then prayer begins to be seen as tapping a busy God on the shoulder saying “if you can find it in your heart to change the whole world order so I can have a parking space, that would be nice… but only if it’s in your plan…” What kind of relationship is being posed here? An authority figure demanding you do exactly as you’re told? Not really loving, is it? (Even if the plans are to prosper me and not to harm me!)

The other, more major, issue that arises when seeing God as a master planner comes when you’re faced with the crucified God.

‘What makes God the world Ruler, said Barth, as opposed to all false gods and idols is ‘the very fact that his rule is determined and limited: self-determined and self-limited, but determined and limited none the less’. (Karl Barth, ‘Church Dogmatics II/2’) Knowledge of this self-limitation derives from the cross, for if everything were rigorously determined what could the cross be but a piece of spectacular, though indecent, theatre? On the contrary the ‘necessity’ of the cross, frequently spoken about by New Testament authors, is God’s refusal to overrule human history. If the cross is our guide, God is no determinist.’ (T.J. Gorringe, ‘God’s Theatre’)

What is seen on the cross is God’s power working through human free will. God didn’t pretend to die on the cross. He didn’t hold onto control or power in that situation rather he became weak and died in order that we could know that

‘he refuses to manipulate or control but rather wishes to woo creation to conformity with his son, as Hosea suggests.’ (Gorringe, ‘God’s Theatre’)

Yesterday I mentioned an experience Peter Brook had while directing Love’s Labour’s Lost for the RSC. Brook told of his frustration when, early on in rehearsals, actors did not perform in the expected way. I will just write Gorringe’s reflections rather than rephrase,

‘This story is a marvellous parable of God’s activity. If we do in fact learn about God, and the mode of God’s activity from Christ then it should be clear that God rejected the prompt book option from the very beginning, and has been from the start ‘in amongst the actors’. God works without script and without plan but with, to continue the metaphor, a profound understanding of theatre and the profoundest understanding of the play…Interestingly Brook remarked early on in rehearsal that there was a particular rhythm to be found and a particular actor to find it, and this demanded ‘an almost metaphysical explanation’. (David Selbourne, ‘Making of Midsummer Night’s Dream’)All the director can do is illuminate the play and demand that the actors find their own inner resources. Often Brook simply sat in front of the stage drumming out a rhythm. Something like this is what God demands of us… Against this analogy it might be objected that it conceives God as simply one agent amongst many, just as Selbourne sometimes wondered whether Brook was one actor amongst many. This would reduce God to the status of a finite being. The giveaway here is the ‘simply’. God is indeed one agent amongst many, but he is the only unique agent, just as there is only one ‘director’. ‘God’ is the Creator and Sustainer, present in the personal reality of his graciousness to all things, and interacting with, and reacting to all things.’

People often ask me, “What makes a good director?” Well the answer, for me, is someone who is willing to guide rather than dictate. Actors are creative beings and are at their most powerful when they are using their creativity. To stifle the creative is to stop them from ‘existing’ onstage. A director’s role is to encourage actors to make right decisions and to enable them to react to impulses onstage. When I’m directing I spend more time equipping actors with tools and practical guidelines as to how to react than I do telling them how exactly to walk, stand and speak. This way of directing, at times, is frustrating for the perfectionist inside me, but in the end it’s the moments when the actors come alive onstage that makes me excited about theatre. Peter Brook, as always, says it best,

‘I think one must split the word “direct” down the middle. Half of directing is, of course, being a director, which means taking charge, making decisions, saying “yes” and saying “no,” having the final say. The other half of directing is maintaining the right direction. Here, the director becomes guide, he’s at the helm, he has to have studied the maps and he has to know whether he’s heading north or south. He searches all the time, but not haphazardly. He doesn’t search for the sake of searching, but for a purpose; a man looking for gold may ask a thousand questions, but they all lead back to gold; a doctor looking for a vaccine may make endless and varied experiments, but always toward curing one disease and not another. If this sense of direction is there, everyone can play the part as fully and creatively as he is able. The director can listen to the others, yield to their suggestions, learn from them, radically modify and transform his own ideas, he can constantly change course, he can unexpectedly veer one way or another, yet the collective energies still serve a single aim. This enables the director to say “yes” and “no” and the others willingly to assent.’ (The Shifting Point)

The same is true of Christian leaders. We may know the vision or see how things could be, but we must act in the way God would act and rather encourage collaboration rather than cooperation. We must tap out a rhythm and help the actors to find and discover the role they are playing and, most importantly, we must be ready and excited about being surprised by the new and fresh things the actor unearths.

In my placement, this year, I will have the joy and pleasure to work with creative individuals and watch them create and communicate stories and truths. I have discovered a way in which my passion and love of directing is truly godly and a spiritual exercise, for as I work ‘in amongst the actors’ I find God is there to.

Divine Director (part I)

My reading over the summer has been sporadic to say the least. I constantly jump from ‘Organic Community’, ‘The Empty Space’, ‘The Shifting Point’ (another Peter Brook book), ‘The Invisible Actor’ by Yoshi Oida and now into my more theologically heavy tomes, ‘God’s Theatre’ and ‘Transforming Fate and Destiny’. Books move from the top of the pile to the bottom frequently as my interest and whims change day by day. This reading is also interrupted by revision on theatre practitioner’s theories in preparation for ‘The Workshops’ running the first couple of weeks of term. Add to this the inevitable daily activities of a wife wanting to do those household chores put aside for the holiday season and you have all the ingredients for a mental meltdown!

There has been, however, some exciting and recurring themes coming through in my research and one of which is particularly helpful for me for a couple of reasons.

For those of you who have been reading for some months now will know, I have struggled with the idea of ‘God’s will’ and how one should discern it; the theological balancing of the providence of God and free will. My evangelical background has led me towards an understanding of God as having a plan for each of our lives and has a map of how our lives should be lived. This means that listening prayer becomes really important to discern which decisions one should make in order to be aligned to His will. This discernment is not a perfect solution as you can never be totally sure you’ve heard him right (if at all!) and so confusion and doubt creep in. The pray-er justifies decisions and outcomes depending on how confident they are that it was God’s will in the first place. This is an adequate theological standpoint and I’m sure there is some truth in it. It does lead to, however, some Christians proclaiming knowledge of God’s one and only will and leading many down destructive or damaging paths. I want to clarify, I don’t think everyone claiming to hear God’s voice in a situation is leading people into destructive or damaging paths but sometimes it has happened.

I struggle when new Christians come to this teaching. Having heard a gospel of grace and cleansing of bad decisions made, they are then pressured to hear God’s will in how to live their lives now and when they make one wrong decision then it’s hard not to feel like you’re not good enough to be a Christian because you’ve messed up God’s plan again!

Joseph Myers in ‘Organic Community’ suggests;

‘A theology of God as master planner implies that God has a purpose – even one purpose – for your life and it’s your lifelong job to pursue it, identify it, and live it out. The gospel becomes, “God has a plan for your life.” God has planned the job, the life partner, the house, the child, and so on. He wants nothing more than our cooperation with his plan. A theology of God as organic order, however, allows for collaboration with him. We are privileged to participate with him in the forming of our future. He invites our ideas, our energy, our creativity, our perspective. He gives up a measure of control to facilitate relationship with us and to demonstrate his love.’

In ‘God’s Theatre’ T.J. Gorringe dissects the main theological and philosophical thoughts on providence, walking his reader through Calvin, Augustine, Aquinas thought and many other historical heavy weights. He argues that you fall into the trap of saying human free will is always working contrary to God’s will and therefore we should cast it aside and be automatons or God works all things to good and so we can do what we like because God is going to fix everything anyway. There are other standpoints, as you can begin to discover, but I just want to give a flavour of the different and varied views. How do we balance God’s omnipotence and Scripture clearly proclaiming God having a plan for human kind and working in this world for the furtherance of the Kingdom and our innate free will?

Gorringe goes onto suggest an understanding of God’s work amongst human beings that has helped me to see more clearly how we can pick up Myers call for ‘organic order’ and see God as someone who wants collaboration rather than cooperation. Gorringe’s ideas come from none other than Peter Brook…

I was immediately interested!

He begins by retelling the story, originally told by Brook himself in ‘The Empty Space’, of one of Brook’s early directorial posts on Love’s Labour’s Lost for the RSC. I returned to ‘The Empty Space’ and read the account. Brook describes how he would have a scene mapped out before rehearsals; He knew where people should move and how and what every moment would look like. He would use cardboard figurines to move them about the stage at different moments and would have it all charted out. I was reminded, as I read this, of two things; firstly, how closely this describes my method of directing early on in my career and secondly, of this implement called ‘a director’s tray’ that was brought to my attention a week ago. This ‘tray’ marks out the stage into different areas and a director would move markers (signifying actors) around the tray like a general would in a war room. Brook, like many directors before and after him, discovered,

‘As the actors began to move I knew it was no good. These were not remotely like the cardboard figures, these large human beings thrusting themselves forward, some too fast with lively steps I had not foreseen…We had only done the first stage movement, letter A on my chart, but already everyone was wrongly placed and movement B could not follow… Was I to start again, drilling these actors so that they conformed to my notes? One inner voice prompted me to ddo so, but another pointed out that my pattern was much less interesting than this new pattern that was unfolding in front of me…I stopped, and walked away from my book, in amongst the actors, and I have never looked at a written plan since.’

I hope you can begin to see where Gorringe begins to see how God might work with human beings.

Join me tomorrow for part two of this post. Go and have a cup of tea or whatever your beverage preference is and I ask that you mull over how you see God working His plans in your life. Have you ever struggled with the idea of God having one plan for your life and that’s it? How do address life decisions? Have you ever struggled with discerning prayer?

See you tomorrow…

Riding Lights Theatre Church? (part II)

I’ve just returned from the Riding Lights Summer Theatre School which I go to each year. This week is very special for me as it is where I began my relationship with Jesus, where I met my wife, where I proposed to her, where I found a lot of my closest and dearest friends and where I feel most at home with the worship and approach to ministry. I want to talk a bit about the community of this summer school and  how it might be developed into a year long life enhancer.

There are countless testimonies, like mine, where people have arrived at summer school from a local church where they don’t feel they belong for one reason or another and feel a strong sense of ‘homecoming’. It’s difficult to put a finger on what causes this feeling to happen with so many people. Is it the shared passion for theatre? Is it the intensity at which relationships are formed? Is it the deep challenges of the week that ask each member to search the depths of their souls for truth to communicate on stage? It’s all these things and many more.

The summer school models an approach to Christian discipleship that is attempted week in week out across the country in small groups, cell groups, house groups, etc. Riding Lights Summer School, however, is unashamed to ask deep and important questions of the participants; why? There is an inherent pressure to produce a performance at the end of a week and so time passes quickly and every moment in rehearsal counts. Therefore, participants, if they are to fully engage with a performance must offer their whole selves in order to communicate truths on stage.

I had an interesting conversation with designer Sean Cavanagh, who has worked with Riding Lights for many years. He suggested that our culture is so interested in making everyone feel like they need to express themselves that people don’t give much thought to what they are expressing or even to who they are that they are expressing. Those involved in encouraging self expression may believe that everyone knows themselves but actually self knowledge should not be assumed. What this problem leads to is people believing they are expressing themselves when in fact they are merely copying someone else in the hope that they will become what they express.

Walking around the Summer School and watching people interacting with each other I saw a lot of people desperate to express themselves but unsure as to who they actually are. Summer School encourages these people to discover who they really are because the company and those working on the courses are not interested in superficiality, they actively seek truth and real people. Your story will not be shared unless it’s truthful and honest.

In the middle of the week, the young people hold a service for the wider community. There is always a slot for testimonies and this year there were three. Two of them were honest and real and powerful and one was not and you could tell which ones meant something by the impact they had on the congregation. I felt a real sense of the possibility for churches to be this honest and frank with each other; the need for unashamedly seeking truthful engagement rather than allowing people to wear the masks for long periods of time. Church should be a place where people are almost forced to take off their masks and superficialities and be released to be ‘themselves’. Yes, it’s painful. Yes, it’s risky but while churches allow people the time and space to feel accepted with the masks on the more painful it will be to persuade them to take them off.

All the testimonies of people feeling they belong with Riding Lights Summer School continue on to tell of the difficulty of going back to the community where they came from having experienced the naked, raw honesty of Riding Lights Summer School. They return and soon forget the freedom and liberation felt and return to the masks that they put down. the summer school becomes a yearly chance to allow the air to get to the wounds only to return to covering it up until the next year. How could Riding Lights continue this ministry into the other 51 weeks of the year?

I’m beginning to feel that Riding Lights is an important tool for modelling church (see Riding Lights Theatre Church post). The network that they have across the country and beyond is a community of people who are passionate about telling truthful, risky and powerful stories; they are a group of people who are not satisfied with expected and safe. I know that Riding Lights Theatre Company feel they must appease the members but I think  they can be honest and bold at saying “We do not compromise the truth.”

There are people out there who are not members of Riding Lights but who have this same passion. It would be great to show them the power of honest and raw storytelling and invite them to participate in the work. The summer school is a place where Riding Lights concentrates on what it does best, drawing out truthful stories from all people and shows them their true reflection. This work is important for everyone.

The company is asking “How do we involve the members more?” I say “Do what you do best… invite them to tell stories, honest and real, to share themselves with others, unmasked and painfully raw.”, “How do we do this?”, “To ask, unashamedly direct, for people to do it. To say to each member “We want your story? Who are you? How does your story fit with ours and God’s?””

My placement this year will help me to see the power of discovering where our personal stories fit into something bigger releases and liberates people and that they are encouraged to step into reality and ask big questions of themselves. This, I hope, will feed into the powerful ministry of Riding Lights.

Their work is essential for the Kingdom of God and to consider this wealth of experience and gifting and passion to fade away is unthinkable. If the company stops I will only reinvent the wheel in the future!